How about an episode about a jellyfish hitting you in the face but also the Democratic debates and Trump's visit to India but also the movie Bloodsport and a gigantic Christopher Columbus statue. How about that?
It’s the end of February! And in 2020, that means we are sandwiched between primaries and debates like some kind of Arby’s “we’ve got the meats” scenario except instead of meats it’s just unrelenting campaigning. Maureen is back from her vacation. She saw a boat! She saw a fish! She didn’t see the last debate, but that’s okay! Dan will fill her in.
Michael Bloomberg continues to be the Frye Festival of candidates, offering microinfluencers and randos money to text their friends because…why not? It’s 2020. Do your grift out in the open. And while we are on the subject of Team Bloomberg, Maureen wants to know what the fuck those guys are doing. She demands to know.
Trump was raveling this week. He went to India, and Dan and Maureen are here to do what they do best—look at the menu. He was also mad about the Oscars, which prompted Maureen to have a look back at a very informative profile published in 1997 that contains some truly remarkable tidbits. It turns out things have been weird for far, far longer than we knew.
Says Who: brought to you by Michael Bloomberg.
Dan Sinker (00:00:01):
This episode of Says Who is brought to you by you, through your support of our Patreon at ... What is going on with my voice? Through patreon.com.
Maureen Johnson (00:00:11):
Do you want me to do this?
Dan Sinker (00:00:12):
Yes. I don't know, suddenly my voice just went sideways on me. Patreon. Go for it.
Maureen Johnson (00:00:20):
Okay. It's brought to you-
Dan Sinker (00:00:21):
I have had a lot of sugar today.
Maureen Johnson (00:00:22):
I can tell, and it's pretty early still, so what-
Dan Sinker (00:00:25):
Well, it's Pączki Day. We'll get to that.
Maureen Johnson (00:00:28):
Pączki?
Dan Sinker (00:00:29):
We'll get to that. We got to do this opening. Patreon.com/sayswho.
Maureen Johnson (00:00:33):
I think that is-
Dan Sinker (00:00:35):
There, I did that one.
Maureen Johnson (00:00:36):
Are you drunk?
Dan Sinker (00:00:36):
You do yours.
Maureen Johnson (00:00:37):
No, I'm good. Oh boy. Hey, it's your old pal, Maureen, author of books. Hey listen, get a book. Books are great. Maybe you want a book called Truly Devious. It's the first in a series of three. It's all complete now. You can read the whole thing, Truly Devious, The Vanishing Stair, The Hand on the Wall. If you listen to this, you've heard about these books, maybe you've read them. If you have, I love you, and if you haven't, I still love you. My love, it doesn't have restrictions. You can't buy my love. But if you have read the books, maybe I love you extra. I don't know. You can't buy my love. Books, read them, please. Oh my God.
Dan Sinker (00:01:18):
Hey, Maureen.
Maureen Johnson (00:01:20):
Hey, Dan.
Dan Sinker (00:01:21):
I'm excited.
Maureen Johnson (00:01:22):
I am also really excited about this particular podcast this week, this-
Dan Sinker (00:01:30):
I am, too.
Maureen Johnson (00:01:31):
Are you?
Dan Sinker (00:01:31):
Yeah. I've had a moment of clarity, Maureen.
Maureen Johnson (00:01:35):
It's weird because you know I was away last week and I also had a moment of clarity.
Dan Sinker (00:01:40):
Did you?
Maureen Johnson (00:01:41):
Yeah.
Dan Sinker (00:01:43):
I'm excited because I have had a real awakening, and I-
Maureen Johnson (00:01:49):
You have?
Dan Sinker (00:01:49):
Yeah, I think I'm ready to endorse a candidate.
Maureen Johnson (00:01:52):
Oh my God. Who?
Dan Sinker (00:01:55):
Well, I mean, I've given it a lot of thought, Maureen, and I think that our best shot-
Maureen Johnson (00:02:04):
Warren?
Dan Sinker (00:02:05):
No. I mean, that's where I ...
Maureen Johnson (00:02:06):
Bernie?
Dan Sinker (00:02:07):
You would think, but I've really come around on Michael Bloomberg.
Maureen Johnson (00:02:15):
You have?
Dan Sinker (00:02:18):
I think he's the candidate for now.
Maureen Johnson (00:02:24):
Right.
Dan Sinker (00:02:26):
What about you? What were you excited about?
Maureen Johnson (00:02:29):
I mean ... Really? Well, when I was away, you had a lot of time to reflect and it was nice and quiet and thoughtful, and I ... This is good. I also am realizing that Mike Bloomberg is the man for the moment and ...
Dan Sinker (00:02:48):
Oh, whoa.
Maureen Johnson (00:02:53):
He's just got a lot of-
Dan Sinker (00:02:55):
Hold on. Can I just interrupt?
Maureen Johnson (00:02:57):
Sure.
Dan Sinker (00:02:57):
Because the contract that I signed is that I'm supposed to be paid to convince you to pay to vote Bloomberg.
Maureen Johnson (00:03:07):
Wait a minute, what? Excuse me?
Dan Sinker (00:03:09):
Nothing. It's just going to get ... I might have to make a call, because this complicates things.
Maureen Johnson (00:03:16):
Oh crap. I am definitely not going to get my 200 bucks.
Dan Sinker (00:03:22):
You only got 200?
Maureen Johnson (00:03:23):
Wait a minute. Shit.
Maureen Johnson (00:03:42):
Welcome to Says Bloomberg podcast, the podcast that isn't a Bloomberg.
Dan Sinker (00:03:48):
It's a Bloomberg strategy. I'm Dan Sinker.
Maureen Johnson (00:03:52):
And I'm Maureen Johnson, and ...
Dan Sinker (00:03:55):
Turns out we have a price. No we don't.
Maureen Johnson (00:03:59):
We do not.
Dan Sinker (00:04:00):
No we don't. Fucking unbought, unbossed. Like Shirley Chisholm back in the 70s.
Maureen Johnson (00:04:07):
I like the idea that maybe someone is listening to this for the first time and is like, "Wow, these people really like Bloomberg."
Dan Sinker (00:04:14):
I just like that somebody was listening and was like, "What the fuck? God damn it. He got to them, too."
Maureen Johnson (00:04:22):
Oh, Micheal Bloomberg and his army of micro influencers.
Dan Sinker (00:04:29):
We'll get to this more, but there was an amazing article in the LA times about various Californians that were paid money by Michael Bloomberg to send texts to all of their contacts, and the texts, there's things like, "I'm getting paid to tell you this. Also, vote for Bernie."
Maureen Johnson (00:04:47):
That's hilarious.
Dan Sinker (00:04:49):
It is amazing. Maureen, you're back. Are you back, or are you still in the tropics?
Maureen Johnson (00:04:55):
No, I'm back. I'm back, Dan. I had an amazing time, although I want to talk about some feelings that arise from ... So we went away. This was our vacation. We say we go away one week in the winter because that's when we choose our time and ... Dan, I love it, and also I feel super guilty the whole time I'm away.
Dan Sinker (00:05:25):
What? Why?
Maureen Johnson (00:05:26):
Because I spend the whole time thinking about ... I don't know. Something settles on me when the quiet descends. Because I read a lot, but ... I don't know, I just had a lot of those reckoning thoughts where I was like, "I need to do more for the world." It was that kind of stuff. It was that kind of ... You ever have those things where you're like, "I ..." Yeah, I don't know. But I did have on adventure, Dan. I made it a commitment to every day get in the water and the water was a little choppy the first couple days and it really smoothed out, and I was in there ... You couldn't get me out. I love the water there. It is why I go. It is the most beautiful thing on this earth. The water was crystal clear, you could see to the bottom. I love it. Also, I'm a swimmer, but I get nervous about being pulled out.
Dan Sinker (00:06:32):
Sure.
Maureen Johnson (00:06:34):
I'm like, "Well, if a riptide gets me, I don't have the skills to get away from that." But also I like looking at the fish and I am scared of them, and I'm fascinated by the things in the water and also slightly terrified by them. So we went on our boat with Captain Steve and-
Dan Sinker (00:06:54):
Oh, Captain Steve.
Maureen Johnson (00:06:56):
Captain Steve, and I was the first one off that they shuttled me off the back and everyone's like, "Oh, she's the expert snorkeler," which I thought was hilarious because I had my own mask with me that I brought, like these face masks.
Dan Sinker (00:07:10):
Oh, whoa.
Maureen Johnson (00:07:11):
Yeah, we bought these full face masks. They're great because you don't have to hold a bit in your mouth. They're not expensive. They're like, 25 bucks and they change the whole experience. So-
Dan Sinker (00:07:19):
Wait, are they like you're swimming around in a fireman's breathing mask?
Maureen Johnson (00:07:29):
I don't know what that looks like, really. It's just a whole plastic thing that fits over your entire face with a tube coming out the top.
Dan Sinker (00:07:35):
I'm looking this up now.
Maureen Johnson (00:07:36):
Yeah, they're really nice so you don't have to hold the thing in your mouth, and it's just-
Dan Sinker (00:07:43):
Wow.
Maureen Johnson (00:07:43):
Yeah, they're great. They're amazing. They're so much-
Dan Sinker (00:07:48):
That's cool.
Maureen Johnson (00:07:48):
They don't-
Dan Sinker (00:07:49):
Oh my God, you have a little tube coming out of your head.
Maureen Johnson (00:07:52):
The tube comes out the back, so it's a snorkel mask, it's a full face mask. It doesn't cost much more than a snorkel. In some cases it costs less, and it changes the whole experience. It's so much better.
Dan Sinker (00:08:04):
Will this help me with the coronavirus, do you think?
Maureen Johnson (00:08:08):
No, Dan. You just wash your hands.
Dan Sinker (00:08:09):
But I could look ... The tube coming out of ... This is a fascinating thing for people listening.
Maureen Johnson (00:08:16):
It's-
Dan Sinker (00:08:18):
You look like a alien in this thing.
Maureen Johnson (00:08:20):
Yeah, it's real good. And it's pretty easy to travel with. I've bought a bunch of them because I've gone to people's houses where I was able to use it and then I've given it to them as, like, "Thank you for letting me come here. Have the full face snorkel mask," because they're great and-
Dan Sinker (00:08:39):
People are like, "Maureen, this was just brunch. We're in the East Village. What are you doing?"
Maureen Johnson (00:08:43):
Yeah. "Have this snorkel mask." So I was last one out of the water as well. I saw a stingray and he was like ... on the bottom. I was like, "Look at me go." So then one of the last days, the place that we stayed at, they had a little Hobie Cat little catamaran thing that you can take out and the people there were like, "We're going to take people out two people at a time because it's a nice day to go snorkel the wreck that's right out on the bay." It's directly out. And I was like, "I'll go." So I sat there on the beach holding my snorkel mask and then I hopped on. There was nobody coming. There was just me and the guy because Oscar was like, "I'm going to stay back here and drink and read, so I was like "All right."
Maureen Johnson (00:09:26):
So I went out alone with the guy, we went straight out, and because he's like, "Okay, jump off." Still moving. He's like, "Just jump off."
Dan Sinker (00:09:36):
Whoa.
Maureen Johnson (00:09:36):
And I was like, "Oh, okay." And so I very hesitantly slid off the side, and then he's like, "I'll come back around." And so I'm bobbing around in the middle of the bay by myself and I was excited but also it was like, "I am ..." I always feel more confident when there are at least some other people around. But it was fine. And I looked down at the wreck. Now, the wreck is super cool, but also I find wrecks super spooky.
Dan Sinker (00:10:06):
Because they're haunted.
Maureen Johnson (00:10:07):
I can barely ... It's one of the only things that genuinely creeps me out to look at. I look down and there's the wreck, and it looks like it's about five feet away from you even though it's about 30 feet away, and I was like ... And the guy's like, "Oh, you scared? Go, go, go." And I was like, "Okay." So I'm the spooky wreck, and he's like, "This way, this way. The fish are this way." I'm like, "Oh, okay." So I'm looking, I'm like, "Come on, Maureen, you're out here by yourself. You can do this." Looking at the wreck, looking at the fish, I'm like, "Yeah. Look at me go, look at me go." And then the water just gets churned up for a second because a little wave splashes over and then the water clears, and then ... The water clears and something is ...
Dan Sinker (00:10:52):
Oh no.
Maureen Johnson (00:10:53):
... is in my face mask and has in fact bounced off my face mask. And that thing, Dan, is a jellyfish the size of my head.
Dan Sinker (00:11:01):
Oh, geez.
Maureen Johnson (00:11:04):
A big moon jellyfish, the one that looks like a brain. Now Dan, I don't like jellyfish. They freak-
Dan Sinker (00:11:13):
That shit'll sting you.
Maureen Johnson (00:11:16):
They freak me the fuck out, Dan. I find them genuinely terrifying. I always read the reports of whether or not there are jellyfish in the water. I'm just not great with jellyfish, Dan. I'm not good, and all of a sudden, a giant jellyfish the size of my head has struck me in the face, bounced off my mask, and I am alone in a bay above a wreck with a jellyfish in my face and for a minute, my soul left my body, Dan. Then, after I sunk back in really fast, you saw this person ... If you were watching the shore, this would have been pretty far off but you would have seen this little flailing limbs and this voice going, "Jellyfish, jellyfish, jellyfish, jellyfish."
Maureen Johnson (00:12:02):
So I'm swimming back to the boat, swimming, swimming, swimming, swimming, swimming, swimming, swimming, screaming, screaming, screaming, screaming, swimming, swimming, and the guy's like, "What?" I'm like screaming, "Jellyfish, jellyfish, jellyfish, jellyfish." He's like, "There is no jellyfish. Not this time of year." And I'm scrabbling at the ... "Jellyfish, jellyfish ..." trying to get back on the catamaran. He's like, "There's no jellyfish, not this time of year." I'm scrabbling, "Jellyfish, jellyfish." Finally he hauls me up and I was like, "There was a jellyfish." And he's like, "Not this time of year." I was like, "There was a jellyfish." We concluded it was probably dead.
Dan Sinker (00:12:31):
Wow.
Maureen Johnson (00:12:31):
He's laughing. I don't care. He's like, "All right, we'll have a little sail." So we sail around and then suddenly he hands me the rudder and says, "You do it." And then he fucks off to do the sail and he's like, "Turn, turn, turn, turn now," and he's shouting all these instructions I can't hear. And he's like, "All the way, all the way, all the way." So I grab the thing all the way because I'm not sure ... I've only just been handed this thing and within the next second, we are careening towards the dock. He's like, "No, no, other way," and then he jumps back and takes control of the rudder and I was like ... Then it was fine. He's like, "Okay, we'll just do it the other way," and then he had me sail back. So I mean, anyway, face your fears is what I'm saying.
Dan Sinker (00:13:17):
Wow. And now you're back in New York City.
Maureen Johnson (00:13:21):
Size of my head, Dan.
Dan Sinker (00:13:23):
That's a big jellyfish. I think they can still sting you even when it's dead.
Maureen Johnson (00:13:27):
Oh yeah. The thing is, apparently the moon jellyfish ... which I immediately looked up ... the sting isn't ... It's not like a Portuguese man-of-war or anything like that.
Dan Sinker (00:13:35):
Sure.
Maureen Johnson (00:13:35):
It can sting you. The tentacles are slightly shorter and it's not as bad. I still ... I mean, a jellyfish the size of my head above a shipwreck is basically the confluence of things that terrify me, so ... yeah.
Dan Sinker (00:13:52):
Well, you survived. You've made it back to America. Welcome. I'm full of sugar, Maureen. I can't concentrate on anything. I'm jumping. My brain is jumping. Pączki Day. It's Pączki Day, Maureen.
Maureen Johnson (00:14:12):
It's what?
Dan Sinker (00:14:14):
Pączki. They are Polish donuts that are made and served on Fat Tuesday. They are traditionally the way you get rid of all of your sugar and lard and everything else in your pantries before Lent kicks in, and-
Maureen Johnson (00:14:33):
My grandmother cooked ... Fastnacht Day.
Dan Sinker (00:14:35):
Yeah. There are definitely different cultures, but here in the Chicago area and largely in the Midwest where there are a lot of Polish immigrant ties, it's Pączki Day.
Maureen Johnson (00:14:50):
Well, there were probably Pączki in my high school, which was a Polish high school.
Dan Sinker (00:14:53):
There you go.
Maureen Johnson (00:14:54):
But my grandmother, her father was German so ...
Dan Sinker (00:14:58):
There you go.
Maureen Johnson (00:14:59):
... they were fastnachts.
Dan Sinker (00:15:01):
But yeah, we ate them. I am still flying. There's a lot of sugar in that shit. Man, it's good.
Maureen Johnson (00:15:10):
Well, this week, Oscar ... because he's a devious little imp ... said at one point, "Hey, the debate's on tonight. Want to watch it?" And I was like, "You get that shit out of my face." But turns out I missed something ... I mean, sounds like I missed something a little bit magical.
Dan Sinker (00:15:34):
Yeah. So we Says Whovians last week was a debate ... There's another debate tonight, Maureen. We are recording this on Tuesday, the 25th. There's yet another debate tonight. I think that we are achieving a debate singularity where there is always a debate. But-
Maureen Johnson (00:15:55):
Isn't this the last one for a while?
Dan Sinker (00:15:57):
I don't know. I stopped caring. After a while, I just stopped paying attention to when they were because I just assumed there was always another. I can't imagine that this is the last for a while, considering that Super Tuesday is in a week in a bit, or a week from today.
Maureen Johnson (00:16:16):
A week? Yeah.
Dan Sinker (00:16:16):
Jesus, a week from today.
Maureen Johnson (00:16:17):
I think this is the last one for a while.
Dan Sinker (00:16:21):
Yeah, maybe. Maybe. Anyway, yes. Maureen, last week, the day of that debate, you were unwilling to just talk about fun things. You kept wanting to talk about the threat that Michael Bloomberg posed. We've-
Maureen Johnson (00:16:40):
I don't remember that.
Dan Sinker (00:16:41):
I believe you specifically were using a Jaws metaphor, that he was the shark in the water and that we couldn't ignore the shark. Then that shark got bit hard.
Maureen Johnson (00:16:55):
You know what they got? They got a bigger boat.
Dan Sinker (00:16:58):
They did get a bigger boat named Elizabeth Warren.
Maureen Johnson (00:17:03):
Well then, you want to tell me a little bit about that?
Dan Sinker (00:17:10):
So this was ... In case you've managed to avoid it, Michael Bloomberg, multiple ... 50-some-odd-billion-dollar-aire ... has bought his way into this race. Yet he has done it through YouTube ads and hiring meme lords and that sort of thing, and this was the first debate that he has been a part of. There have been approximately 70 trillion debates and he has not been in any of them, so he managed to sort of get the rules bent around and things like that for him to get into this debate. This was going to be the first time we were going to see this guy who has run a all kind of online ad based campaign up til now.
Dan Sinker (00:18:03):
And he got his ass handed to him, repeatedly. But especially by Elizabeth Warren, who basically just opened the debate by being like, "Hey, let's talk about this motherfucker right here," and then just laid into him about the various allegations of sexual harassment and NDAs that he has put women that worked for him under so that they couldn't talk about it in addition to talking about him being a billionaire and all of that bullshit. But just laid in over and over and over.
Maureen Johnson (00:18:52):
Yeah. I had a realization this week when we found out about how Michael Bloomberg is now conducting his campaign, and that is that he is paying people to text their contacts and the number seems to be about $2500.
Dan Sinker (00:19:23):
Yeah, that's the opening bid.
Maureen Johnson (00:19:28):
And he's using a lot of micro influencers and meme generators. I had this realization that basically he is the Fyre Festival of candidates. He's this rich guy illusion of this thing that we can build from nothing. There's no there there, but we'll sort of build it up with micro influencers and people texting each other to be like, "Have you heard? Have you heard? Have you heard?" And when I said that on Twitter, someone pointed out that he is, in fact, using one of the same PR firms that the Fyre Festival used.
Dan Sinker (00:20:08):
Of course he is.
Maureen Johnson (00:20:09):
Which is something called FuckJerry, which I think they just now call Jerry. So yeah, he's just trying to just buy ... So he may call you. If you have 10,000 or over Instagram followers, maybe you will get a call from Mike Bloomberg and he will give you $2500.
Dan Sinker (00:20:32):
Somebody in my Twitter called it "your Bloomberg number," like, what is the amount of money that he could offer that you would then text your contact list?
Maureen Johnson (00:20:50):
Well, let's see. What would you do with the money? What's your Bloomberg number?
Dan Sinker (00:21:03):
It would be more than 2500 bucks, I got to say. I feel like it would be a pretty big number, because that is ... Though, the LA Times has reported that they are doing a real piss poor job of enforcing it, so if you could basically fuck off with it ... which it seems like ... I mean, $2500 for what they have spent. They spent $200 million in January alone.
Maureen Johnson (00:21:39):
Yeah. And a lot of that's ...
Dan Sinker (00:21:41):
$2500 is not a lot.
Maureen Johnson (00:21:42):
... in California?
Dan Sinker (00:21:43):
Yeah.
Maureen Johnson (00:21:45):
He's not going to win in California.
Dan Sinker (00:21:48):
I don't think he's going to win anywhere. So the calendar as it stands right now ... There's a debate tonight. That debate is in advance of the South Carolina primary, which is this Saturday. This primary is the one that has repeatedly been sort of held up as Biden's beach-head, as the moment that Biden finally comes to the fore after incredibly poor showings in Iowa and New Hampshire. He did come in second, but a distant second in Nevada. But now they are polling in South Carolina, and the most recent polls have Biden and Bernie right up against each other now. So he is already in a slump in South Carolina.
Dan Sinker (00:22:39):
But anyway, you've got South Carolina on Saturday and then Tuesday is what they call Super Tuesday, which is when we stop being precious with these things and start doing multiple primaries at one time. But this Super Tuesday is especially big. It is Alabama, Arkansas, California, Colorado, Maine, Massachusetts, Minnesota, North Carolina, Oklahoma, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, Vermont, and Virginia.
Maureen Johnson (00:23:07):
We're going to know, I think, after ...
Dan Sinker (00:23:09):
Well, you've got-
Maureen Johnson (00:23:09):
... next week.
Dan Sinker (00:23:09):
Yeah. You've got California and Texas ...
Maureen Johnson (00:23:12):
And Texas, yeah.
Dan Sinker (00:23:13):
... both voting? So between those two and the other states, over a third of all of the delegates that will be given out this primary season are going to happen on Tuesday. So unless it's a remarkably scattered result, I think we'll know.
Maureen Johnson (00:23:37):
I've thought it was going to be Bernie for a while and that belief is only intensifying.
Dan Sinker (00:23:46):
Yeah. I mean, it sure feels like it is currently his race to lose, and it also feels like there are a whole lot of people aligning to try to get him to lose it.
Maureen Johnson (00:24:11):
Yeah. We're definitely reaching the point where there are a lot of claws out, and it's getting ... what's the word you would use to describe how it feels right now? Kind of the-
Dan Sinker (00:24:30):
Ugly?
Maureen Johnson (00:24:31):
Yeah, it's not great.
Dan Sinker (00:24:34):
This is the moment in time where instead of coalescing around a front runner, even if he is not the person that people might agree with, there is ... The claws are out. The attempt now is to rip him apart, which will only create wounds that will continue into the general election. It feels like we are in a real self-defeating battle right now, for sure.
Maureen Johnson (00:25:14):
We're definitely seeing some of the skeleton underneath our different beliefs and how they evolve, and this is not a softball election.
Dan Sinker (00:25:30):
No. No. Yeah, and you have ... like tonight's debate. If the Nevada debate was everyone piles on Bloomberg, tonight is going to be everyone piles on Bernie. It is going to be Bloomberg with a lot of rehearsed lines against him, Buttigieg is absolutely going to come for him. I would assume Biden is going to come at him.
Maureen Johnson (00:26:04):
But-
Dan Sinker (00:26:04):
He's not the front runner and I think the general feeling is you either stop him now or it's done.
Maureen Johnson (00:26:14):
That's one of the things that seem to be so weird about the Bloomberg thing, was how unprepared he was. I mean, I have seen high school debaters more prepared than when Elizabeth Warren ... and I've seen this clip ... packages up his ass, wraps it in a bow, and hands it to him, and he fumbles around and says basically, "Well, yeah, I have some women under a NDA because they didn't think my jokes were funny." I mean, how could you ... I'm genuinely staggered by the lack of preparedness. What did he think was going to happen? That's what I want to know, Dan. What did he think was going to happen?
Dan Sinker (00:27:00):
I don't quite understand why he's ... After watching that, it was like, "Why-"
Maureen Johnson (00:27:07):
I think he genuinely ... I think he saw Trump do his thing and was like, "Well, if that fucking idiot can do it, I'm richer and I'm largely more functional than he is, so I can do it." It doesn't take that much. You don't have to have spent your life in public service or anything. "I was mayor. I could fucking do this. Please, I could do this with one hand tied behind my back." And if you're used to having people who take care of your shit for you and you've always just kind of gotten stuff done that you wanted, and then you step in and someone just flat out ... It's like one of those things, like a movie that someone opens a door and punches someone directly in the face. He wasn't ...
Dan Sinker (00:27:54):
What I don't understand, Maureen, is he was mayor of New York City, the city that you live in. I feel like New York has certainly brought some assholes into the fore.
Maureen Johnson (00:28:12):
Look, this is not our fault.
Dan Sinker (00:28:14):
But they tend to have out-sized personalities.
Maureen Johnson (00:28:18):
Yeah, they really do.
Dan Sinker (00:28:19):
And Bloomberg has the personality of a soggy slice of American cheese. I don't-
Maureen Johnson (00:28:27):
He doesn't have a ... He's very ... "Yeah, you know, he kind of talks like this and ..."
Dan Sinker (00:28:35):
Well, and he kind of has sort of a nasally ... [inaudible 00:28:44]
Maureen Johnson (00:28:46):
I mean, he was kind of ... Things he did was the soda tax. He's very famous for the soda tax and raising the price of a pack of cigarettes to about 10 bucks.
Dan Sinker (00:28:58):
Did your soda tax stick around? Because when they tried to do a soda tax here, when they passed a soda tax, it almost cost every single person their job in the next election and they very quickly retreated on the soda tax.
Maureen Johnson (00:29:13):
To be honest, I don't know. I didn't follow up on the soda tax. If there had been a coffee tax, then I would have noticed, but I don't tend to buy sodas, I tend to buy coffee. Coffees are already so insanely expensive. A cup of something at Starbucks is, like, $6 here, so ...
Dan Sinker (00:29:36):
Speaking of sodas, Maureen. The president of the United States, Donald Trump ... Forgot that he is the president. He is, in fact, the president. He visited India this week. He has been kind of celebrated by the prime minister of India, was brought to a arena of 110,000 people, which you know that dude loved. But, Maureen Johnson-
Maureen Johnson (00:30:13):
A lot of people in India. Very populous country.
Dan Sinker (00:30:15):
Yes. Not sure if I was calling the shots, I would bring 110,000 people together in an arena when there's a massive flu outbreak happening around the world, but that's not my choice.
Maureen Johnson (00:30:30):
Yeah, they're canceling K-pop concerts because of it.
Dan Sinker (00:30:34):
Yeah. Anyway, Maureen, when you bring-
Maureen Johnson (00:30:40):
K-pop. K-pop, Dan.
Dan Sinker (00:30:41):
K-pop. When you bring the president of the United States to your country, you have to contend with the fact that you have to serve him food at some point. And Maureen, what are the core principles ... This is our wheelhouse right now.
Maureen Johnson (00:31:00):
This is what we do.
Dan Sinker (00:31:01):
What are the core principles of serving food to Donald Trump?
Maureen Johnson (00:31:05):
Okay, you got to serve him some beef with a sweet tomato-y thing, so you can serve him meatloaf, you can serve him hamburger with ketchup, you can serve him something kind of big ... You could serve him a shrimp cocktail, wedge salad. You could serve him anything that would have been on a menu in 1985 and been considered very cool. You can serve him vanilla ice cream. Yeah, you feed him ... It's like how you always have to give children child nuggets. You give him the children's menu.
Dan Sinker (00:31:42):
Yeah. And if you look at heads of state serving meals to him, you can always play the game of find the steak.
Maureen Johnson (00:31:54):
Again, point of order. For whatever fucking reason ... I have to backtrack for one second. Mike Bloomberg has hired these people on Team Bloomberg, and I am convinced that either these people are Andy Kaufman performance artists or it's some kind of program for ... I don't know, people who have never social ... Have you never social media-ed? Are you texting on a Jitterbug telephone? These people are absolutely tweeting from a calculator, and they put out these ... If you've never followed Team Bloomberg, don't follow it but just go look every once in a while. They do these weird things they think are funny that are so confounding. I can barely even explain how bizarre they are, that they think are jokes. They did it a lot during the debate.
Maureen Johnson (00:32:57):
They decided to go to Nevada and buy a bunch of billboards. And ooh boy, did they put some stingers on those, including one that says, "Donald Trump cheats at golf," and another that said, "Donald Trump eats burnt steak." Way to relate to people. Dan, what are they doing? What are they doing, Dan? What are they doing? I need you to ... What are they doing? What are they doing, Dan? Tell me what they are doing.
Dan Sinker (00:33:27):
Well-
Maureen Johnson (00:33:28):
Because I can't sleep.
Dan Sinker (00:33:31):
I would like you to name two billboards by Amy Klobuchar.
Maureen Johnson (00:33:35):
One-
Dan Sinker (00:33:40):
Or two billboards by Pete Buttigieg.
Maureen Johnson (00:33:46):
The game is not how many ...
Dan Sinker (00:33:46):
Or by Joe Biden.
Maureen Johnson (00:33:48):
... billboards you can name. It's not like that movie that's like three billboards outside of-
Dan Sinker (00:33:52):
But their strategy is basically if we go weird, if we go dumb, if we go stupid, people talk about us, and that's all we care about right now. We want people to be talking about us even if it's-
Maureen Johnson (00:34:13):
It's the Fyre Festival, Dan. It's the Fyre Festival.
Dan Sinker (00:34:14):
Even if this is dumb shit. But that's their strategy, and in terms of simply getting people to talk, they are succeeding in that capacity with their dumb ass tweets, with their stupid fucking billboards, with everything.
Maureen Johnson (00:34:33):
I cannot emphasize how not funny or clever they are. They are simply odd.
Dan Sinker (00:34:38):
Indeed.
Maureen Johnson (00:34:39):
It'll say things like, "Oh, Donald Trump has a fish tank? Well, Mike Bloomberg has a giant squid." And you'll be like, "What? I don't even understand." And that's the whole thing. That's ... send tweet. And they will do it tonight, I'm sure, during the debate, their weird fucking tweet stream.
Dan Sinker (00:34:57):
Oh without a doubt.
Maureen Johnson (00:34:58):
Unless someone got the memo that the weird tweets are just weird.
Dan Sinker (00:35:02):
No. No. Because then you're talking about them during the debate and you're not talking about other people. It's that simple. There is no broader 3D chess bullshit. It is, "Well, if we flood the zone tonight with weird shit, then people aren't talking about how this guy keeps getting his ass handed to him."
Maureen Johnson (00:35:24):
Well, I'm sorry. I derailed the conversation because I wanted to talk about that billboard that says, "Donald Trump eats burnt steak." That's what he eats, burnt steak.
Dan Sinker (00:35:30):
So on burnt steak, that is what he eats. And Maureen Johnson?
Maureen Johnson (00:35:34):
Yes.
Dan Sinker (00:35:36):
He was in India. They-
Maureen Johnson (00:35:39):
Which in terms of food, one of the great food cultures of the world. I mean, just an extraordinary diversity of food, of flavor, of spice, of using natural ingredients. I mean, the variety and number of curries and just the ... I mean-
Dan Sinker (00:36:00):
But ...
Maureen Johnson (00:36:01):
Yeah?
Dan Sinker (00:36:01):
Largely vegetarian.
Maureen Johnson (00:36:05):
Absolute feast for vegetarians.
Dan Sinker (00:36:07):
Yes. So he is brought to the Gandhi Ashram yesterday where he is going to be served high tea.
Maureen Johnson (00:36:19):
Delicious.
Dan Sinker (00:36:20):
And Maureen, I have never been so stressed out reading a menu, worried about the international incident that will result from it. Let me read you the high tea menu.
Maureen Johnson (00:36:34):
Delicious.
Dan Sinker (00:36:35):
Welcome drink: assorted canned juice, orange and guava. Tender coconut water. Then there is a live counter tea coffee where you have your choice between American, English Darjeeling, Assam Earl Grey, green and lemon teas. Assorted cookies: honeybee, seven grain, and chocolate chip, roasted almond and cashew nut, apricot and dried dates. Then there's a snacks counter serving Khaman ... which is a savory spongecake, I believe ... and broccoli and corn samosas. Followed by dessert of apple pie ... there's a nod to something he would eat ... kaju katli, and exotic fresh cut fruits. It sounds delicious to you and me.
Maureen Johnson (00:37:41):
That's not going to work, is it, Dan?
Dan Sinker (00:37:42):
But that's not going to work at all. And in fact, just this morning, The Independent from the UK reports, Donald Trump and his entourage reportedly fail to eat a single item of a special vegetarian feast prepared for him during his trip to India. "In an effort to please the famously carnivorous tastes of the president, the chef, a well-known, award-winning chef named Suresh Khanna, adapted a number of famous Indian delicacies to make them more recognizable for their guests and even included more familiar items such as chocolate chip cookies and apple pie. But, some food items were arranged for the members of the visiting delegation, but neither the US president nor the First Lady had anything during their visit to the Ashram."
Dan Sinker (00:38:36):
Thankfully for Mr. Trump, later during his visit he stayed a luxury hotel in New Delhi where the presidential suite had been amply stocked with Diet Coke and cherry vanilla ice cream in advance of his arrival.
Maureen Johnson (00:38:49):
He's eating cherry vanilla now.
Dan Sinker (00:38:51):
Yeah, I was surprised at that. I was like, "Shit, there's another miss."
Maureen Johnson (00:38:54):
Wow.
Dan Sinker (00:38:54):
I've never read anything about him ...
Maureen Johnson (00:38:56):
Yeah, I don't-
Dan Sinker (00:38:56):
... eating anything but vanilla ice cream.
Maureen Johnson (00:38:58):
Too lumpy. It's got lumps in it. I don't think he likes lumps.
Dan Sinker (00:39:03):
Yeah. So they did not eat a single thing at the Gandhi Ashram.
Maureen Johnson (00:39:16):
I even-
Dan Sinker (00:39:16):
Real world traveler, this guy.
Maureen Johnson (00:39:19):
I mean, they even gave him canned juice so he wouldn't be paranoid.
Dan Sinker (00:39:22):
Right? Yeah. I mean, you can see all of the little attempts throughout, though I don't know about a broccoli samosa and I love samosas.
Maureen Johnson (00:39:32):
I'd give it a go.
Dan Sinker (00:39:33):
Broccoli and sweet corn samosa, I don't know what they were doing there.
Maureen Johnson (00:39:36):
I'd-
Dan Sinker (00:39:36):
That was certainly not going to help.
Maureen Johnson (00:39:38):
Look, I'll give it a go.
Dan Sinker (00:39:40):
Maybe shove a wedge of iceberg lettuce inside and deep fry it. He'd probably eat that.
Maureen Johnson (00:39:45):
I don't think-
Dan Sinker (00:39:46):
A wedge salad samosa.
Maureen Johnson (00:39:49):
I mean, chocolate chip cookie. He couldn't eat a chocolate chip cookie?
Dan Sinker (00:39:53):
No. No. He's not. He's not touching any of that.
Maureen Johnson (00:40:00):
Melania's not having a roasted almond? She can probably have up to five roasted almonds a day.
Dan Sinker (00:40:05):
That feels excessive.
Maureen Johnson (00:40:06):
He probably allows her that.
Dan Sinker (00:40:07):
That feels like a real indulgence there, Maureen. Five? Are you kidding me?
Maureen Johnson (00:40:14):
Well, Dan. Trump also had another little moment this week that is not a big deal but is one that I demand we break down.
Dan Sinker (00:40:23):
I would love to.
Maureen Johnson (00:40:26):
The other week, the Oscars, Parasite won the Best Picture.
Dan Sinker (00:40:30):
Yeah.
Maureen Johnson (00:40:33):
Which I haven't seen yet. It's come up on Pay-Per-View, so I'm going to be watching it. And Trump at a rally, like he goes off about toilets and things, he went off about Parasite. He said, "What the hell was all that about? We've got enough problems with South Korea with trade. On top of that, they give them best movie of the year. Was it good? I don't know. Can we get Gone with the Wind back, please? Sunset Boulevard? So many great movies."
Maureen Johnson (00:41:01):
Now, Dan, this is obviously the dumbest thing that's ever happened, along with all the other dumbest things that's ever happened, to go off on a rally about the fact that Parasite won the Oscar. I mean, obviously, stupid. However, there is no way that Trump has seen either Gone with the Wind or Sunset Boulevard.
Dan Sinker (00:41:26):
Oh no, definitely not. Those are simply names of movies.
Maureen Johnson (00:41:30):
Those are just movies. They're famous old movies, and one of them was about how awesome the South was when slavery was around. It is also four hours long.
Dan Sinker (00:41:41):
Yeah, he's not sitting through that.
Maureen Johnson (00:41:43):
Four hours long.
Dan Sinker (00:41:46):
No.
Maureen Johnson (00:41:47):
And Sunset Boulevard? I mean, come on. He's not watching Sunset Boulevard. He doesn't care about Norma Desmond, about, "I'm ready for my close up. He's not watching. He just knows the name of two movies. But the real reason I know I can say for a fact that he has not seen these is because a long time ago ... we've read bits of this probably a couple years ago now ...
Dan Sinker (00:42:13):
It's been a while.
Maureen Johnson (00:42:13):
... because this podcast has gone on for 7,000 years ... we found out how Trump watches movies. So I decided to go back and find that article and pull this quote, and-
Dan Sinker (00:42:24):
Oh, spelunking.
Maureen Johnson (00:42:26):
It's from a New Yorker profile from May 1997, and it's written by Mark Singer. This article, the writer Mark Singer is going around with Trump in 1997 and he gets on the private plane to go down to Mar-a-Lago. Here's a little section he writes about being on the plane: "The solid-gold fixtures and hardware ... sinks, seat-belt clasps, door hinges, screws ... well-stocked bar and larder, queen-size bed, and bidet ... easily outfitted with a leather-cushioned cover in case of sudden turbulence ... implied hedonistic possibilities, but the plane often ferried high rollers to Atlantic City-"
Dan Sinker (00:43:11):
Hold on. That is some real gross hedonism when the bidet is a key element.
Maureen Johnson (00:43:19):
I also didn't think bidets had covers.
Dan Sinker (00:43:21):
I feel like that tells you a lot more about the writer than I want to know.
Maureen Johnson (00:43:26):
Well, I mean, I think maybe he's applying more of the gold screws and the bar and the ... But there's a leather cover on the bidet? I mean, that's a whole thing. That in and of itself is a whole episode. But he said, "I have witnessed only good, clean fun. We hadn't been airborne long when Trump decided to watch a movie. He brought along Michael, a recent release, but 20 minutes after popping it into the VCR, he got bored and switched to an old favorite, the Jean-Claude Van Damme slugfest called Bloodsport, which he pointed out-"
Dan Sinker (00:44:03):
Is Michael John Travolta was an angel? Is that that one?
Maureen Johnson (00:44:07):
I think so, yeah. "He pronounced Bloodsport an incredible, fantastic movie. By assigning to his son the task of fast forwarding through all of the plot exposition, Trump's goal being to, 'get this two-hour movie down to 45 minutes.'"
Dan Sinker (00:44:26):
Sure.
Maureen Johnson (00:44:27):
So we know that Trump can't even sit through the plot of the movie Bloodsport. So that's how we know. But there's a lot of things when I was reading through this article that really ... We should all be going back in time to 1997 and reading this New Yorker article, because here's another little snippet from that plane to Mar-a-Lago. This is actually a paragraph above. She's on the plane. "My fellow passengers included Eric Javits a lawyer and nephew of Senator Jacob Javits; Ghislaine Maxwell, the daughter of ...
Dan Sinker (00:45:04):
Whoa.
Maureen Johnson (00:45:04):
... late publishing tycoon and inadequate swimmer, Robert Maxwell-
Dan Sinker (00:45:08):
That is ... wow.
Maureen Johnson (00:45:11):
Yep. Matthew Calamari, a telephone-booth-sized bodyguard who was the head of security for the entire Trump Organization; and Eric Trump, Donald Trump's 13-year-old son." Yeah, that Ghislaine Maxwell. That Ghislaine Maxwell who sourced victims for Jeffrey Epstein and is currently on the lam. Everybody knew that they knew each other, but just in this piece, she's just on the plane because she's probably on the plane a lot. Yeah. But the thing about this-
Dan Sinker (00:45:39):
Plus Matthew Calamari.
Maureen Johnson (00:45:39):
Plus bonus Matthew Calamari.
Dan Sinker (00:45:40):
Now the chief operating officer of The Trump Org.
Maureen Johnson (00:45:45):
The thing about this article is that all of it is a fun house mirror that reflects our lives right now. I'm going to really slaughter some Russian names, and I could get no framework on these pronunciations so please forgive me. The reporter says he's sitting there and Trump's in his office, and ... "Back in the office, a Times reporter, Michael Gordon, was on the line, calling from Moscow. Gordon had just interviewed a Russian artist named Zurab Tsereteli" ... that's got to be wrong ... "a man with a sense of grandiosity familiar to Trump. Was it true, Gordon asked, that Tsereteli and Trump had discussed erecting on the Hudson River a Statue of Christopher Columbus that was six feet taller than the Statue of Liberty?
Maureen Johnson (00:46:31):
'Yes, it's already been made from what I understand,' said Trump, who had met Tsereteli a couple of months earlier in Moscow. 'It's got $40 million worth of bronze in it, and Zurab would like it to be at my East Side Yards development' ... a 75-acre tract called Riverside South ... 'and we are working towards that end.' According to Trump, the head had arrived in America and the rest of the body was still in Moscow" ...
Dan Sinker (00:46:55):
What?
Maureen Johnson (00:46:55):
... "and the whole thing was being donated by the Russian government. The mayor of Moscow has written a letter to Rudy Giuliani stating that they would like to make a gift of this great work by Zurab. 'It would be my honor if we could work it out with the city of New York. I am absolutely favorably disposed towards it. Zurab is a very unusual guy. This man is major and legit.' Trump hung up and said to me, 'You see what I do? All this bullshit. Know what? After shaking 5,000 hands, I think I'll go and wash mine.'"
Dan Sinker (00:47:25):
Wait. Hold on.
Maureen Johnson (00:47:32):
Go on.
Dan Sinker (00:47:33):
What the fuck? What? Wait.
Maureen Johnson (00:47:42):
Go on.
Dan Sinker (00:47:44):
There is an artist in Russia ...
Maureen Johnson (00:47:47):
In Moscow.
Dan Sinker (00:47:49):
... who has reportedly made a gigantic statue of Christopher Columbus that is bigger than the Statue of Liberty ...
Maureen Johnson (00:47:59):
Six feet taller.
Dan Sinker (00:47:59):
... and according to Trump, it is done. It's finished. And the head has already been shipped to America.
Maureen Johnson (00:48:08):
I mean, talk about-
Dan Sinker (00:48:11):
The head.
Maureen Johnson (00:48:11):
Talk about a metaphor. The head is in America but the body is in Russia. I mean, it's the other way around, but you get what I'm saying. Yeah. The head's already here.
Dan Sinker (00:48:24):
The head is here.
Maureen Johnson (00:48:25):
Head's already here, Dan. In fact, that's why you can go to the Hudson River now and see a giant statue of Christopher Columbus that's six feet taller than the Empire State Building. And the whole thing was being donated by the Russian government and the mayor of Moscow was writing to Rudy Giuliani just getting it all set up. 1997, Dan. 1997.
Dan Sinker (00:48:58):
I feel [crosstalk 00:48:58]
Maureen Johnson (00:48:58):
An astonishing 23 years ago, Donald's doing weird ... What we've got is, in doing weird deals with the Russian government to bring stuff to America involving Rudy Giuliani, that also involves shit he's apparently going to build that's already under construction. The head's already here.
Dan Sinker (00:49:15):
Think of how much surveillance equipment was packed into the face of Christopher Columbus.
Maureen Johnson (00:49:22):
I mean, come on.
Dan Sinker (00:49:24):
It's like instead of eyes, there were just satellite dishes.
Maureen Johnson (00:49:29):
I didn't know Christopher Columbus was holding a reel-to-reel tape recorder like out of some sort of 70s spy movie. The shit is that?
Dan Sinker (00:49:38):
Instead of a feather in his cap, there's just a gigantic antenna sticking out.
Maureen Johnson (00:49:43):
Before the wall, there was a giant Columbus from Russia. I mean, come on, Dan.
Dan Sinker (00:49:48):
They could just lay it down and have a whole bunch of wall finished.
Maureen Johnson (00:49:53):
When I read this, it was like that time that the jellyfish hit my mask. My soul was like, "What?" So this is all in one article. The article is really long, and most of it is about his grifting. 90% of this article is about all of his real estate grifts. So the little things I've pulled ... and there are lots of things. I was pulling too many things. This article is just chock-a-block with everything we deal with on a daily basis. But here's this little summary that is everything: "One day when I was in Trump's office, he took a phone call from an investment banker, an opaque conversation that, after he hung up, I asked him to elucidate. 'Whatever complicates the world more, I do,' he said. 'Come again?' 'It's always good to do things nice and complicated so that nobody can figure it out.'"
Dan Sinker (00:50:43):
Yeah, that sounds right. Jesus Christ.
Maureen Johnson (00:50:46):
A giant Columbus from Russia, Dan. It's already been built. The head's already here.
Dan Sinker (00:50:50):
Oh my God.
Maureen Johnson (00:50:51):
Ghislaine Maxwell, a leather cover on the bidet, can't get through Bloodsport, and it's all there. This article is just amazing, so we'll have to put up a link to it. It's just ... I don't even know. Maybe don't read it. Save yourselves. But it's-
Dan Sinker (00:51:10):
Maureen, I want to wrap up today with something that happened just yesterday. The Washington Post's David Farenthold tweeted, "On Mar-a-Lago's website, I stumbled onto this photo of one of their guestrooms. If you've stayed here, tell me what they charged you. Also, tell me what the deal is with the frog."
Maureen Johnson (00:51:35):
Hmm?
Dan Sinker (00:51:36):
Maureen, scroll down a little in our notes and look at the photo that is attached to this tweet.
Maureen Johnson (00:51:46):
What the shit is that? Also-
Dan Sinker (00:51:47):
Can you-
Maureen Johnson (00:51:52):
Okay, first of all, I have a question. All right, you want me to describe it?
Dan Sinker (00:51:58):
Yes please.
Maureen Johnson (00:52:00):
This photo seems to be taken from the floor, like a child's-eye view, kind of looking up-
Dan Sinker (00:52:09):
Like a baby that can't move.
Maureen Johnson (00:52:11):
Yeah, the camera's about six inches off the floor and it's looking up at an armchair part of a sofa. So it's not really looking at anything. It's very ... I'm sure maybe this is just the way he cropped it, but it's a strange-
Dan Sinker (00:52:25):
No, I looked at it. That is the real photo.
Maureen Johnson (00:52:28):
What? Okay. So, okay. So it doesn't make any sense why this ... Also, that armchair super looks like a recliner. Doesn't that look like a recliner to you?
Dan Sinker (00:52:38):
Yes. Yes. You're burying what's in the armchair though.
Maureen Johnson (00:52:42):
No, no, no. I'll get there. The walls have a kind of cherry blossom, looks like maybe, pattern in the background. It's all very blue and it sort of looks like how my mother has decorated the back room of our house, plus it doesn't include my mother's 150 Cat's Meow Village pieces, but aside from that. But sitting on this recliner is a ... Dan, it's a frog dressed as kind of a medieval prince. He's got little-
Dan Sinker (00:53:13):
And it is ...
Maureen Johnson (00:53:14):
He's a big frog.
Dan Sinker (00:53:14):
... man sized.
Maureen Johnson (00:53:16):
Yes. It's a man-sized frog wearing a puffy-sleeved shirt, little tiny black slippers, and a ... beret?
Dan Sinker (00:53:25):
I think so.
Maureen Johnson (00:53:28):
And also, if you look in the back by the window ...
Dan Sinker (00:53:33):
This. Yes.
Maureen Johnson (00:53:36):
... there's an old-timey doll carriage.
Dan Sinker (00:53:39):
With a haunted doll in it.
Maureen Johnson (00:53:41):
With a doll kind of peeking up from the very, very back. You ever go to Graceland?
Dan Sinker (00:53:55):
I've never actually been in. I've driven by two times in my life. Both times I have then been like, "That is more expensive than I want to pay."
Maureen Johnson (00:54:05):
I went there ... I was with my friend on her book tour, and she loves Elvis and it was a very rainy day and we went to Graceland. She really wanted to look at everything. We were there for four hours. It was exhausting to me, but she was really into it. Some of the decorations ... There's this one room that he has that is like a rec room of some kind ... Because everything in Graceland is frozen in time in 1977, so when he died, everything is just decorated as it was. So one entire room is ... It's very hard to explain. It's all green shag carpet, so it's very green, and then there's lots of this low furniture, and then there are stuffed animals and clowns and things sort of sitting around, and that's what this reminds me of.
Dan Sinker (00:55:09):
Yeah. It's just sitting ... I went to double check because he just says, "I stumbled on this photo." It turns out it's simply in the section of the Mar-a-Lago website labeled, "Photo Gallery" and there is no context to it, there is no caption to it. You can't click into it and understand anything more about it other than somewhere lurking in one of the guestrooms of Mar-a-Lago is a haunted doll and a man-sized frog.
Maureen Johnson (00:55:40):
It's full of microphones. Inside of that frog is a spy. "Don't mind me, I'm just a stuffed frug."
Dan Sinker (00:55:53):
Just roams the halls and if anyone comes close, it just kind of collapses into a pile.
Maureen Johnson (00:55:59):
"Hey, wasn't that frog ... I thought that frog was over there. Wasn't it in the lobby? Did you see that frog in the lobby?"
Dan Sinker (00:56:09):
God.
Maureen Johnson (00:56:09):
Would not.
Dan Sinker (00:56:13):
Says Who is made possibly by you.
Maureen Johnson (00:56:16):
That's why-
Dan Sinker (00:56:16):
Through your support-
Maureen Johnson (00:56:17):
That's why I'm voting Bloomberg. Bloomberg, he gave me $20.
Dan Sinker (00:56:23):
You got to up your rates, Maureen.
Maureen Johnson (00:56:25):
Bloomberg-
Dan Sinker (00:56:25):
I'm getting $20,000 for my Bloomberg endorsement.
Maureen Johnson (00:56:29):
Bloomberg, we're going to have real porta potties this time on the island.
Dan Sinker (00:56:37):
Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho. Our theme music is performed by Ted Leo. Our logo is designed by Darth. You can contact us @sayswhopodcast on Twitter. You can email at hey ... that is H-E-Y ... @sayswhopodcast.com. Join the discussion on Facebook at /groups/sayswhovians. Our Facebook group is moderated by Janice Dillard. Spread the word, subscribe, and please leave stars and reviews on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen. Next week ... Maureen, I think we got to come out on Thursday next week.
Maureen Johnson (00:57:19):
Because of Super Tuesday?
Dan Sinker (00:57:21):
Because of Super Tuesday. It would be super stupid ...
Maureen Johnson (00:57:25):
Not to do Super Tuesday.
Dan Sinker (00:57:27):
... to record Tuesday morning and come out on Wednesday.
Maureen Johnson (00:57:32):
You guys don't mind, right? Is that okay with you guys?
Dan Sinker (00:57:35):
So I think instead we will record on Wednesday when at least some of the results of Super Tuesday will be known.
Maureen Johnson (00:57:42):
And then-
Dan Sinker (00:57:43):
And then you can join us March 5th to hear that episode.
Maureen Johnson (00:57:47):
Dan.
Dan Sinker (00:57:48):
Maureen.
Maureen Johnson (00:57:49):
Do we have the watch the debate? We're watching the debate tonight, right?
Dan Sinker (00:57:56):
I don't want to. Does that count?
Maureen Johnson (00:57:59):
Nope. You got to do it.
Dan Sinker (00:58:02):
Why?
Maureen Johnson (00:58:04):
Because, Dan.
Dan Sinker (00:58:05):
I don't want to.
Maureen Johnson (00:58:08):
Nope.
Dan Sinker (00:58:10):
I don't want to.
Maureen Johnson (00:58:12):
Dan.
Dan Sinker (00:58:14):
I don't want to. I don't want to. No. Don't want to.
Maureen Johnson (00:58:19):
Dan, it's on February ... And there's an extra day in February this month. It's a leap year. Extra February.
Dan Sinker (00:58:25):
Yeah. Yeah, I don't want to.
Maureen Johnson (00:58:30):
And this week, Athens, Georgia, Thursday night, I'll be in you at Avid Bookshop, 6:00 PM. If you are anywhere near Georgia or Athens, Georgia, please, please, please ... Please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please come. This is a makeup visit from when I got food poisoning on tour and I'm coming back to Georgia. Just coming down to Georgia. Very excited.
Dan Sinker (00:58:59):
There you go.
Maureen Johnson (00:58:59):
Going to have a biscuit.
Dan Sinker (00:59:01):
Like that Mountain Goats song.
Maureen Johnson (00:59:04):
Dan, we're going to be watching the debates tonight, then we'll ... Dan.
Dan Sinker (00:59:15):
I don't want to. I don't want to.
Maureen Johnson (00:59:17):
Dan.
Dan Sinker (00:59:17):
I don't want to.
Maureen Johnson (00:59:17):
Dan.
Dan Sinker (00:59:17):
I don't want to.
Maureen Johnson (00:59:17):
What if you got a piece of pie?
Dan Sinker (00:59:20):
I'd just keep the pie.
Maureen Johnson (00:59:22):
You'll only get pie if you watch the debate.
Dan Sinker (00:59:24):
I don't want pie then.
Maureen Johnson (00:59:26):
Pie is for debate watchers.
Dan Sinker (00:59:28):
Well, I still got Pączkis left over from this morning and I'll just eat those and be happy.
Maureen Johnson (00:59:34):
No, Dan. If you eat those, then you'll be buzzing on sugar. You'll be so high, you'll go, "I might as well just watch the debate," and then you're just, "I'll just watch the debate. Is the debate on? Oh my God, why'd I turn the ..."
Dan Sinker (00:59:42):
I don't want to. I don't want to.
Maureen Johnson (00:59:44):
Well.
Dan Sinker (00:59:46):
Anyway, join us next Thursday, March 5th, for a post-Super Tuesday episode of Says Who.
Maureen Johnson (00:59:54):
From my suite of offices in Bloomberg Towers, where ... I can't even do it as a joke.
Dan Sinker (01:00:04):
From my basement in Chicago, I'm Dan Sinker.
Maureen Johnson (01:00:08):
And this has been Says Bloomberg.
Dan Sinker (01:00:17):
No, really. How much did he pay you?
Maureen Johnson (01:00:19):
Fyre Festival, Dan. Fyre Festival.
Dan Sinker (01:00:21):
How much? How much?
Maureen Johnson (01:00:25):
$50 grand.
Dan Sinker (01:00:27):
I'd probably do it for $20 grand.
Maureen Johnson (01:00:29):
Who would you give the money to, though? You'd just keep it?
Dan Sinker (01:00:31):
Myself. If I'm going to do something that shitty, I'm going to go to Disney World. That's who I'm giving it to. I'm giving it to The Walt Disney Company.
Maureen Johnson (01:00:42):
Just a billionaire-to-billionaire transfer?
Dan Sinker (01:00:45):
Exactly. Just have them wire it straight in. He's going to be done by next Wednesday.
Maureen Johnson (01:00:56):
Dan, don't you dare.