Who's up for staying in and listening to a podcast again this week?
Peek a boo! It’s Dan and Maureen! Behind you! Surprise!
It’s been another indoor week, and Dan and Maureen are doing… fine? They don’t know anymore. They cannot remember the Before Times. But they’re pretty used to it all now. They go over the regular things, handwashing, types of beans, things you can do in a basement. But, in a change of pace from the last few weeks, they remember there is Other News, even though that news is still the same news.
Dan's on the hunt for who stole Maureen's drugs, and finds a new lead in an old place. But Maureen wants Dan to go read some George Conway and Trump’s tweets instead. Dan does not want to. Dan reads them anyway. They are in a fight and it is gross and dirty and Dan does not like it AT ALL. Dan is already queasy. He wants it to stop. Meanwhile, Maureen’s pup eats a microphone, bringing a new level of professionalism and sonic quality to the project.
So sit down and have some of these beans. They taste just like Taco Bell!
Dan:
Oh boy.
Maureen:
Bring your toy. Dexy toy.
Dan:
Sounds good.
Maureen:
Toy.
Dan:
Let's go.
Maureen:
Ready to go Dan. Ready [crosstalk 00:00:15]. Get the toy. Get your toy. Toy. I know you want to play, but you have to [inaudible 00:00:28]. Yeah go get it.
Dan:
This episode of Says Who is brought to you by Dexy's toy and also you, through your support of our Patreon at Patreon.com/sayswho. That Patreon is where new episodes of quarantine specials go up every Sunday for our $5 and up Patreon backers. Yes. We are in unprecedented times as every commercial on your television will tell you all the time, and that means that there are two Says Who's a week. One for our Patreon supports and one for all of us here together on a calm Wednesday where nothing ever goes wrong. Patreon.com/sayswho.
Maureen:
That's not even a toy. She brought over her bed. She dragged her bed over and then dropped it down.
Dan:
Maybe she's sleepy. Clearly she's sleepy.
Maureen:
She should be sleepy Dan. The whole point of me taking her for her long walk before this is for her to go to sleep.
Dan:
Didn't work out so good.
Maureen:
You know what? When we bring her back in from the walk she frequently has about 15 minutes of this and then she collapses. Uh-oh. I don't know if you can hear the toy approaching.
Dan:
A little squeaking.
Maureen:
This'll be good for the audio.
Dan:
This is perfect. Hey Maureen, tell them about books.
Maureen:
Yeah, books. I don't know. I don't know anymore.
Dan:
Maureen writes books, they're real good.
Maureen:
Do I?
Dan:
The latest trilogy is called the Truly Devious Trilogy that you can get at finer independent book stores everywhere or less fine other stores, and what a great opportunity dip your feet full fledge into a trilogy pool than right now when you're not doing anything every night. Books, I'm Maureen Johnson.
Maureen:
I'm going to move over Dan with my computer. I think if I sit on this sofa things will go better.
Dan:
Sure, things will definitely go better. This again, is Dan. I want to tell you about Says Who merch. You can go to merch, that is M-E-R-C-H dot SaysWhoPodcast.com and you can get all of the good time Says Who Podcast things. You can get mugs, couple different mugs, you can get fanny packs, you can get a bunch of different shirts, you can even get these upright guys and things got out of hand face covers because that's the world we live in now. Merch.SaysWhoPodcast.com.
Maureen:
Can you hear me moving?
Dan:
You know it's all fine.
Maureen:
I'm moving over Dan.
Dan:
This is smooth sailing. That's what people tune in for Maureen. They tune in for the smooth professional audio qualities of Says Who Podcast.
Maureen:
Dan.
Dan:
Hmm?
Maureen:
It's fine. It's great as a matter of fact. We should-
Dan:
Yes.
Maureen:
Start the podcast I guess. Oh that's a microphone don't eat it, don't eat it. Don't eat... Oh no. Don't bite it, don't bite it, don't bite it, don't bite it. No don't bite it.
Dan:
You're using the microphone that looks like a ball today.
Maureen:
Oh yes I am as a matter of fact.
Dan:
Yes you are. I just realized as I heard such good sniffs. You're using a microphone that's circular like a ball.
Maureen:
Nope, don't bite. No, no, no don't bite it. Don't bite it, no. Mummy's. Could you hear that?
Dan:
Let's do this show.
Maureen:
Let's do the show.
Dan:
Welcome to Says Who, the podcast that isn't a podcast.
Maureen:
It's a dog toy. My name's Maureen Johnson.
Dan:
And I am Dan Sinker. Maureen Johnson, I have to say I have been indoors for 53, 54 days, something like that and today is the first day that I feel straight up lousy. Not COVID symptoms thankfully, but I feel like I could puke at any moment.
Maureen:
Oh no, I'm sorry.
Dan:
I'm truly puzzled as to where I could have possibly picked this up since I don't do anything, I wash my hands like a surgeon, and everyone else in my family ate the same food I did in the last 24 hours. A bit of a mystery.
Maureen:
It's not a thing you picked up. Maybe it's your body's like, "What if I just did this?"
Dan:
Yeah, apparently. Apparently body was like, "You know what? Health was a good run, let's try not health."
Maureen:
Sorry.
Dan:
Sorry, it's don't feel so good Maureen and it doesn't feel good to not feel good at this moment in time because there's always that thing in the back of your head of well what if this is new? What is if this is a new symptom? What if generally feeling queasy and pukey like I have a million times before is actually something worse.
Maureen:
No, you could take encouragement from the fact that I'm pretty sure that's not a thing.
Dan:
Yeah I also am.
Maureen:
You should be happy. In fact you should be happy.
Dan:
Nothing better then that feeling of potential nausea at any moment.
Maureen:
It's the worst feeling.
Dan:
Really is not good. It's not good. I woke up feeling like this and of course today is one of those days where every single thing in the day has to fit together like a puzzle. My stomach was like, "Why not be a little qwerpleblurp?" And that's what it is, that's what it is. How are you though Maureen?
Maureen:
I'm good. I'm good. I think that I had a moment this weekend... I seem to remember it happening on Saturday and it wasn't anything in particular that I was like, "Well this has gone on for a while, hasn't it?"
Dan:
Yeah.
Maureen:
It wasn't anything, it was huh, we're still doing this. Okay. It was a lot of that, and I think that it's, again, trying to parse how it is I seem to be doing something without pause and yet everyday we wake up and we're in the same position.
Dan:
Right, it is a weird feeling of both constant and never. It is without pause and it is also all pause.
Maureen:
Although I do think it was on Saturday, wasn't it, that we recorded?
Dan:
Yeah we recorded bonus content.
Maureen:
It was one of my favorite bonus episodes ever. It was a real delight.
Dan:
Are you talking about the friends or dark friends that we released this past Sunday or are you talking Dan and Maureen talk about shipping things, which is coming up this coming Sunday because Maureen that was my favorite thing I've ever recorded.
Maureen:
It was both. I did enjoy friends or dark friends a lot.
Dan:
Yeah, it was good.
Maureen:
I was chomping at the bit to get to-
Dan:
You really were. We couldn't even introduce it. You kept being like, "Okay, all right."
Maureen:
I was excited.
Dan:
Well that's good. I think the thing is, that feeling of well this has gone on a long time, I would say last week, which was I believe week seven, end of week seven for me. Yeah, I feel like last week was actually one of my best, if not the best weeks, that I had in all of this. Felt good, felt like I had traction and was doing a lot of things well. Some adjustments to schedules that we'd made, it really started to come together, and then I feel like this week has taken a dramatic turn in that capacity. Not only do I feel not well, but I feel listless and lost. I remember a few weeks ago talking to a friend who was like, "I'm having a really hard time right now." It's like all of this is one giant rollercoaster. You are going to have ups, you're going to have downs, that is what this is. Yeah, that sense of oh this has been long, yeah, yeah it has, that's okay. It's okay to feel like that.
Maureen:
I don't even know what it was I was thinking about. It wasn't like, "I really want to go somewhere." She's just settled down. You hear that big sigh?
Dan:
I didn't.
Maureen:
That's the big content now I'm tired and I'm going to go to sleep sigh. Because Dan, after she gets her nice long walk to convince her to lay down and sleep in my office I assemble Dan, this giant... I want to describe this to you because I think it will relax you. There's a sofa in my office. I'm very lucky Dan, I have a whole office, big office. Then I have, there's this faux fur blanket. We got this a long time ago when Oscar lived in England, so it's this faux fur blanket on top of... I pile that up into a big fluffy pile, this big. Then on top of that I put another blanket that's a really soft fleecy blanket, which I squish into another pile on top of that.
Maureen:
It's this big pile of fake fur blanket with another pile of fleecy fur. It's this big nooky pile of softness and that is all fluffy and ready for her and it's got a little... I scoop out the middle, I push it so it has a little dish in the middle that she can curl up in. Don't you wish someone did that for you Dan?
Dan:
Man, that's living. That is living right there.
Maureen:
I know. She's gets taken for a walk and then sleeps in a big pile of blankets.
Dan:
Man that sounds comfy. I would like to do that. That's what I need to do. I need to curl into a big giant fluffy pile of blankets and take a little nap. Probably wake up feeling 100% better, but instead Maureen Johnson I'm here with you and Sayswhovians we're here together, another week. Maureen Johnson, you had a bit of an interesting week.
Maureen:
I had a weird week Dan, really weird week. Well what happened was my mother ordered some flowers from a local roadside garden store, a local neighborhood family owned garden store. She ordered a couple flats of begonias or something, some pansies or something. She's like, "I'd like to get them... She got them delivered and she mentioned in passing, she's like, "Oh yeah, I promised my daughter... We promised we wouldn't go out so I can't come to the store." When they delivered her the flowers guy came, who was her age, I mean 70. He comes with the flowers, he sets them down and he says, "I have something else for you." She's like, "What?" He goes back to his car and then he brings a bag of hot meals, and then he goes back to the truck again and brings several bags of groceries one. Not one, but a couple. She looks and she's like, "Why are you giving me this food?" He said, "Well when you said on the phone that you weren't going out we were worried that you didn't have anything to eat so I stopped and I got you a couple things."
Maureen:
The hot food came from a local businessman who's been providing hot meals, so he stopped and he picked up the hot meals, and then he went to the grocery store and bought her a bag of things like boxes of mac and cheese, mashed potatoes, ramen soup. All kinds of shelf stable.
Dan:
Oh my God. Wow.
Maureen:
Yeah, several days worth of meals.
Dan:
That is incredible.
Maureen:
My mom was flabbergasted because she's like, "We have food. You didn't have to do this." He's like, "I know." She's like, "Can I pay you?" He's like, "No." Then she called the store and was like, "Please, this was so generous, can I pay you?" They're like, "No." She called me because she was speechless, speechless. I was like that's a nice story. I tweeted it, said here's a nice story, you'll like it.
Dan:
It was a nice story, I saw those tweets.
Maureen:
It's a nice story. Well Dan, that story had legs. It went bonkers. It went totally viral. Everything blew up on my feed. It's one of those things where you start to see the number of retweets and all the... Jake Tapper retweets it. My personal favorite, Mark Wahlberg retweets it with a comment about how much... I was like, "What is happening?" These things happen occasionally but I was like, "Here we go." Then I go in my inbox, which has started to blow up. First in touch in Fox News.
Dan:
Hello.
Maureen:
I don't know, it was one of their weekend programs or something, I don't even remember which one it was but they were like we want to do an on camera piece with you this Fox Weekend angry blonde woman show that they do. I don't know. I was like, "Nope." Yeah I got a lot of press requests and interview requests and then... Yeah, so it was on CBS and NBC, ABC locally and then it was... I don't know it was on the Daily Mail, it started to go around and around and around. I got another one today. My mother went viral.
Dan:
Yeah.
Maureen:
Which is fine. The owners of the store, to their credit, they're like we didn't really do this for publicity, we were trying to do a nice thing and they had the nicest response. Well if this prompts people to do something good and support a local business then it's great. I do have a feeling they're Trumpy people, but that doesn't matter. What's nice about this is that does not matter right now.
Dan:
Right, they're helping.
Maureen:
Yeah, so we're totally on the same page and I was like, "Anybody who helps my parents... This is a local store trying to survive and it's not a fancy place. It's literally a roadside, gravel parking lot with racks of plants and flowers out. It was good but it was one of those things Dan where I feel like my time has been... I feel like you, for different reasons, we're trying to eek everything out of every minute. How could we be this locked in and have this much to do? It's because we suddenly have to do... I feel like a homesteader Dan. Everyday I do a little bit of laundry in the tub. I count the beans. I bleach everything, do the food inventory, it's constant.
Dan:
Yeah.
Maureen:
I feel like I run a weird little farm. I'm in Stardew but in my house.
Dan:
Oh definitely. I now have a routine where I wake up, I sew masks, then I take the morning shift on preschool. Then it's lunch and then I do my work work. Then comes dinner and then we put the preschooler to bed and then I sew more masks. This is what we do now.
Maureen:
How is preschool?
Dan:
It's going okay. We had to do some schedule shuffling I would say maybe two weeks ago now because we had not done a very good job of designating tasks, sharing the weight between Janice and I. It boiled down to we would both be doing everything until I had to jump out and do work and it didn't make a lot of sense. It resulted in nobody feeling like they had any time for themselves and no time to actually get anything done and you always felt guilty that you weren't doing this thing with the other person because they were having to do it. We now have shifted up, so like I said, I take the morning school shift and she takes the afternoon school shift and it has dramatically changed everything. She goes for a run on the treadmill in the morning now. She's running five miles a day.
Maureen:
Wow.
Dan:
Yeah, five days a week, 25 miles a week, which is wild. We're doing good. Being a four year old is hard generally and being a four year old in this I think is hard because you don't quite understand anything. Every now and then he will out of nowhere say, "When is the sickness going to be over?" It's like oof. It won't be part of the conversation, it will be like he'll fade... Often it'll be he's... His brain is growing in leaps and bounds actually, which is very wonderful to see. He has gone from sort of reading to an amazing reader. He is now super interested in dates and he checks the calendar everyday and it's often when he checks the calendar that he will ask about when the sickness will be over.
Dan:
But yeah, he's doing good. He's doing good. We had a couple nice days this weekend, which was great because we were able to get outside for an extended period of time instead of what it has been, which is put coats on and go stand in a wet yard for a little bit. That seemed to help a lot but preschool is preschool. It isn't really school but we have activities that we do and like I said, he's learning. He's learning an incredible amount.
Maureen:
And the teenager?
Dan:
Good, he's got I think about three weeks left in school before then it's summer break, which I don't quite-
Maureen:
Oh my God.
Dan:
Don't quite know the difference there. Yeah, his school I have to commend them. They have taken on the mantle of do no harm and so they have ratcheted back the stress on students a lot, which I think is really, really good because it is a stressful time. They are by no means trying to replicate a full length school day everyday and all of that thing. He's able to do work at his own pace and their occasional synchronous moments that they're all together, but by in large it is self-directed and he's able to wrap it up very quickly. Not is deeply enmeshed in his own learning project where he's teaching himself a game programming language and process.
Maureen:
Which one?
Dan:
Unity, and-
Maureen:
I'll ask Oscar about it.
Dan:
Yeah, Unity and then the C-Sharp programming language, which is associated with it. It is hours a day now. It is amazing. It is actually pretty incredible to watch someone go whole hog into something and leaps and bounds of progress every single day. One of those things where it's like huh. He had taken a game programming class in high school that got shit canned halfway through because they couldn't really do it remote because it required machines that were there, and I dug up an old laptop and was like, "Well you can install on here." He's run with it. It's amazing to watch.
Maureen:
I ask myself this a lot and I wonder about it, what I would have... I think yeah I definitely would have gotten into... I imagine I would have tried to write a book, that would be my best guess.
Dan:
If you were in high school during this?
Maureen:
Yeah.
Dan:
Yeah. I have thought about that and I think to me I remember it was my junior year a girlfriend's family had an old Macintosh computer that they were getting rid of. It was one of those ones that still looked like a box even though the box ones had gone. It was ancient, still ran on floppy disk and all of that. I was like, "I'll take it." I would spend hours every night trying to make it work. I do think I would have been like that during all of this or I would hope that I would have been like that. I would have not engaged my family much.
Maureen:
Oh no.
Dan:
That's for sure.
Maureen:
No, no, no. Absolutely not.
Dan:
Anything that I could find to not would be what I'm doing. But we're surviving stomach issues aside. This week I feel like I failed the family this week. I did a poor job of our grocery delivery and so we are getting very creative in our meals because we have to make it to Saturday when we are actually doing a contactless grocery pickup. We're figuring it out. We had homemade Taco Bell style bean and cheese burritos last night. Complete with making the tortillas ourselves.
Maureen:
Oh I've been planning on getting a tortilla press. That's my-
Dan:
We ordered one. I mean you can make them rolling it out but yeah, we made flour tortillas a week or two ago. They were so easy and really good.
Maureen:
It's supposed to be real easy and I was like, "I should be doing this."
Dan:
It uses a lot of flour, four cups of flour for 16 tortillas or something but man it was good. I have to say we had one can of refried beans and some shredded cheddar cheese and a little bit of hot sauce and it was this tastes exactly like Taco Bell. It was awesome. An exact replica, painstakingly made of a Taco Bell bean and cheese burrito.
Maureen:
Dan I got overly ambitious yesterday. I had what I thought was a very clever plan where I often... Batch cooking is a good idea. You get everything going at once and then you shelve it and you're like, "Okay, now I have this meal made for the next day and I've prepped this and I've done this." Dan, I was like, "I'll make this thing because it's tasty and we can have it later this week and it'll be great." What I made Dan was eggplant rollatini, which is actually one of the most time consuming... Do you want to see your time go down a black hole? Make some eggplant rollatini.
Dan:
What does that even mean? What is involved?
Maureen:
All right, you slice up your eggplant, you salt it, and you put it on a rack to drain out. You have to prep all your eggplant slices, so two eggplants draining and prepping and rinsing. Done all that. I made it with a vegan wash, a cornstarch wash and then a breadcrumb thing. Then you have to heat up the pan and quickly pan fry all the pieces up. But you can only do them two pieces at a time, so that means 10 different pan loads where you're watching, you're watching, you flip them, you take it out, you do the next one, you're doing the next one. Then I've done all of this. Meanwhile I've also cooked the veggies and the stuff for tonight. Then it's assembling it, you put the ricotta cheese in the middle and basically you put in tomato sauce, then you make these little rolls with eggplant with the ricotta cheese mix in the middle and then you put them in a pan and then you bake it all up. It's sort of like eggplant Parmesan but not as heavy.
Dan:
Okay.
Maureen:
You know how eggplant Parmesan is... Would you like things fried and covered in cheese?
Dan:
Yeah, totally.
Maureen:
I mean delicious but... Dan, by the time that I'd done all of that and I was also grocery getting day, collecting, sorting, and then on the cleanup on the other end and the bleach downs and was it five hours I spent in the kitchen?
Dan:
Wow.
Maureen:
I was so tired because I was supposed to do my writing at the end of the day. I was going to do another sit down and another writing. I sat down at 10:30 and couldn't even move.
Dan:
I bet. That is a long time.
Maureen:
I was really tired. I tend to end up doing these things that are a lot more elaborate. I suddenly find I've been sucked into the kitchen and I'm still there four hours later. Well what did I do this time? The good news is I'm not cooking today.
Dan:
Oh there you go.
Maureen:
I also don't have very much appetite. I keep forgetting to eat and when I went out to walk the dog on Saturday, part of the reason it got derailed was I was fine, I was busy all day, but I didn't eat anything because it didn't occur to me because I was busy. Then I went to walk the dog and I almost fainted. I went outside and it was hot and I hadn't eaten anything, and then my body went off and I was like uh-oh. I was on the phone, there was a problem with my family and I'm talking on the phone, I'm outside, it's hot, I haven't eaten, and my body went guess what? You're going down. I was like, "Oh no," and I had the dog so I had to hurry home. I was shaking. When your blood sugar drops you're dripping with sweat, I was shaking. Then I felt a little off kilter the rest of the day.
Dan:
Well yeah, I would say so.
Maureen:
I went in and I drank some orange juice and I pounded some chocolate chip cookies, good, that I'd made. I was a little off. The day itself was great but after that I felt off.
Dan:
Yeah, I bet.
Maureen:
Do you like how we're not talking about anything newsy?
Dan:
Yeah, well I have a story to tell you Maureen. If you want to go in that direction I do have a story to tell.
Maureen:
Well I mean do you feel it's necessary?
Dan:
Yeah, sure. That's what people are here for, right?
Maureen:
Well I suppose they are. All right, go ahead.
Dan:
Maureen Johnson, last week we took a little dive into who has taken your drugs. Can you quickly catch listeners up on the saga of you and your drugs?
Maureen:
I take Plaquenil, it's a Hydroxychloroquine, which was the drug that Trump was like, "Everybody take this drug."
Dan:
Yeah, what could go wrong?
Maureen:
What could go wrong? Everybody takes this drug, it cures Coronavirus. There was no evidence of that really but he decided to tell everyone to do it, and when he did that a bunch of doctors I guess went out and prescribed it. Anyway, there was a run on it and suddenly there was none. I take it, I have taken it for years everyday, twice a day. It's one of the things that keeps my condition under control and keeps me power. It's literally at one point the thing that was keeping the real crushing fatigue at bay. Suddenly there were no meds, which was why I was standing in Walgreens with my mask on listening to the Friends theme looking at a jar that had nine pills in it when I needed 60. That's where we're at.
Dan:
Perfect, so we have been... One of the true mysteries of Hydroxychloroquine is who got in Donald Trump's ear even to tell him that this was a thing, and for that matter who has been in the ear of many conservative pundits and people like Rudy Giuliani and all of that? Last week we learned about the impossibly named Joe Pizza and his wife Lauren Pizza. Joe and Lauren are Mara Lago members. Joe is a former rock musician and producer, Broadway producer turned pharmaceutical broker, as a possible source for this. But this week Maureen, in the grand search for who took your drugs-
Maureen:
I like [crosstalk 00:32:24].
Dan:
A new challenger has entered.
Maureen:
Oh.
Dan:
This is a new challenger who is actually an old face from the collection of weirdos that wander in and out of Trump's orbit. I want to talk about Jerome Corsi.
Maureen:
All right, I remember him.
Dan:
Right, so you're like, "Oh that name sounds familiar." I want to quick bring everyone up to speed on who Jerome Corsi is, since it's been a while since his particular brand of nutty has come across the transom here. The first thing that you should know about Jerome Corsi is that he has an entire subsection on his Wikipedia entry titled Writings and Conspiracy Theories. That seems great. He is the co-author of the book Unfit for Command, Swift Vote Veteran's Speak Out Against John Kerry, which was one of the early prototypes of running for president by turning people's strengths into weaknesses when they took the fact that John Kerry, who was a Vietnam Veteran, decorated Purple Heart Vietnam Veteran running against George W. Bush when the Iraq War had gone real south. They basically used his Vietnam experience to prove that he hates America somehow.
Dan:
Jerome Corsi was one of those people. He was a birther and wrote a whole book about how Barack Obama was from Kenya, so that's great too. And of course naturally he is friends with Roger Stone, which brings us to Donald Trump. Jerome Corsi was one of Stone's connections to Wiki Leaks acting as a go between between Stone and Julian Assange. Now all of this feels like I'm telling a story from another lifetime because all of this feels like eons ago, but these are people that we used to talk about all the time Maureen before we talked about bleaching our counters and counting our beans.
Dan:
He was part and parcel there with Roger Stone helping Wiki Leaks to dump their DNC files and all of that. He stayed in this circle until the Mueller investigation when he offered testimony against Roger Stone. In fact he ended up suing Stone because Stone was basically threatening him for talking with the Mueller investigators. He sued Stone for "intentional infliction of emotional distress and coercion and threats that are intended to try to cause plaintiff Corsi to have heart attacks and strokes in order that the plaintiff will be unable to testify at Stone's criminal trial". Corsi was not the best witness in the world. One of Mueller's investigators quoted his lawyer who said that, "Sometimes he can't tell if Corsi remembers or invents facts," which seems great.
Maureen:
Okay.
Dan:
Anyway, all that to get back to your drugs. Last week the Washington Post reported that "Federal prosecutors are examining the communications of a New York family doctor whose work has been discussed on Fox News and who has been in touch with the White House to tout an anti-malarial as a treatment for the novel Coronavirus, according to people contacted as part of the inquiry". That doctor is a guy named Vladimir Zev Zelenko, who is also one of Rudy Giuliani's big connections to Hydroxychloroquine. What does this have to do with Jerome Corsi? "The examination of Zev's records began when an associate, conservative commentator Jerome Corsi, accidentally sent an email intended for Zelenko to another Z name in his address book, Federal prosecutor Aaron Zelinsky, who was a member of Special Counsel Robert Mueller's team."
Maureen:
Okay.
Dan:
Corsi said that Zelinsky responded to the unexpected email by reaching out to Corsi's lawyer and requesting all of Corsi's communications with Zelenko. He was writing Zelenko because apparently he and Zelenko are "collaborating on a website designed to connect people with doctors".
Maureen:
What?
Dan:
These aren't bright guys Maureen and things got out of hand.
Maureen:
I needed a drink of water Dan because...
Dan:
Can you imagine the series of life choices that you would have had to have made to instead of emailing the potentially quack doctor about a non-helpful anti-malarial cure, that you are somehow in the mix with, instead you email a Federal prosecutor.
Maureen:
Dan I think that one thing that this has done is because it's so big and all consuming, the Trump thing, the thing of Trump, Trump. The thingness of Trump, that Trump that he exists and says words and is still out there, it feels a little bit like shouting at the moon. It doesn't seem to mean anything anymore. Yeah, he's given news conferences at the Lincoln Memorial, he's... I did mention this to you Dan and yes we do have to talk about it, just for a second, Kellyanne and George once again are trying to drag us into their weird games.
Dan:
Their weird sex games.
Maureen:
Do I need to look up the tweet? I do. Because we have to do it. George Conway, we have to do it.
Dan:
I don't want to.
Maureen:
This is a job, this is our job.
Dan:
God dammit.
Maureen:
All right, let's look. Let's see here. All right, let's look here. All right, [inaudible 00:39:38] Conway Twitter, and they're still married.
Dan:
Yes.
Maureen:
We don't think there's any... They're not separated, they're not...
Dan:
There is no reporting whatsoever that says they are not still in cohabitation together happily or no.
Maureen:
Okay, so trying to scroll to get to where actually... I sent it to you, that's the easiest way to get it. There it is, all right. He collaborated to make this video called Mourning in America.
Dan:
Spelling with a mourning like a funeral mourning.
Maureen:
Yeah and it's a commercial that's here are all the terrible things that have happened since Trump has been in office, it's mourning, we're mourning in America. I guess Trump didn't like it.
Dan:
They bought commercial air time on Fox News, so Trump saw it.
Maureen:
I like that I made you have to say that and admit that.
Dan:
Yeah I know.
Maureen:
I like that.
Dan:
I don't.
Maureen:
I do. I don't know how to feel anymore Dan. I don't know how to feel looking at this tweet. Why can't I even find his dumb tweet about this? Did he take it down?
Dan:
It's all for the best. He didn't take it down. He's probably has retweeted 7,000 things since this morning and now.
Maureen:
Let's see, May 4th, May 4th.
Dan:
You're going to make me fucking search for this thing aren't you? God dammit.
Maureen:
Can't find it Dan. I'm helpless, I'm a baby. I'm a baby I don't know how to find tweets.
Dan:
Well all a person needs to do is do a search for Trump Conway Moonface. Dammit, you made me do this.
Maureen:
I did.
Dan:
God dammit.
Maureen:
That's most of the fun Dan.
Dan:
A group of RINO Republicans who failed badly 12 years ago, then again eight years ago, and then got badly beaten by me, a political first-timer four years ago, have copied no imagination the concept of an ad from Ronald Regan Morning in America doing... I need to point out he does not understand parody or sarcasm at all, does he?
Maureen:
No.
Dan:
Okay, doing everything possible to get even for all of their many failures. You see, these loser types don't care about 252 new Federal Judges, two great Supreme Court Justices, a rebuilt military, a protected Second Amendment, biggest ever tax and regulation cuts, and much more. I didn't use any of them because they didn't know how to win, and their so called Lincoln Project is a disgrace to Honest Abe. I don't know what Kellyanne did to her deranged loser of a husband Moonface, but it must have been really bad. John Weaver lost big for Kasich to me. Crazed Rick Wilson lost for Evan McMuffin McMullin to me. Steve Schmidt and Reed Galvin lost for John McCain, Romney’s campaign manager question mark, lost big to O. Jennifer Horn got thrown out of the New Hampshire Republican Party. They’re all losers, but Abe Lincoln, Republican, is all smiles. Thanks Maureen. Glad I had to read that.
Maureen:
Yeah I didn't read it. I didn't want to but it was really nice that you did.
Dan:
Moonface.
Maureen:
Yeah, so there's Moonface and it's also the fabulous misogyny of what did his stupid broad wife do to him?
Dan:
Right.
Maureen:
Hey, what's your wife doing to you? Hey, so there's that. But then he responds this morning. To what I have to admit... Here we go, George Conway. He tweets and he has a screenshot of a text conversation. Dear Mr. President, my friend WindsorMann, who gave me the idea that we do Mourning in America, not Morning ad, is sad that you didn't rage-tweet at him. Could you take a moment of your busy day of abject self-pity to attack him? Many thanks, your friend, Moonface. It's pretty funny. I don't like that I'm interested. I don't like it Dan, but it's funny. That's pretty funny. I don't hate that.
Dan:
I'm not going to give him credit.
Maureen:
That's pretty funny.
Dan:
I don't like him. I don't like him. I don't like that I have to think about him.
Maureen:
I don't like it either Dan, but every once in a while you're like, "All right, that's pretty funny."
Dan:
I don't like that he and Kellyanne are drawing all of us into their weird sex games.
Maureen:
I guess what's okay about this one is that instead of... He's needling at Trump. I don't feel like he's needling us maybe. I don't know.
Dan:
Because he thinks now he feels like we think he's a hero, so he's getting those, "Dang, this dude donked on Trump," retweets.
Maureen:
Mm-hmm (affirmative), and it's gross.
Dan:
Then he's getting that gross sex at home for it.
Maureen:
Oh Dan, why did you have to say that?
Dan:
Well, just saying. More than one dunking happening is all I'm saying.
Maureen:
God dammit Dan, how dare... Dan, how dare you?
Dan:
This is your fault. This is your fault Maureen Johnson.
Maureen:
Oh it's my fault? Oh it's my fault?
Dan:
I didn't even put these two in the fucking notes.
Maureen:
I know, it's a big omission.
Dan:
You dragged it up and now you can't deal with the fact that we have fucking Kellyanne and Moonface fucking in front of us.
Maureen:
I like it.
Dan:
Oh God dammit.
Maureen:
Hi, it's me. How you doing?
Dan:
Amy Carter's shoe, we haven't heard from you in quite a while.
Maureen:
I've been here.
Dan:
You've been here.
Maureen:
That's right.
Dan:
I don't know where this is going. I don't like where this is going.
Maureen:
You're going to like it.
Dan:
I don't think I am.
Maureen:
You were talking about dirty things, that's why I came.
Dan:
Oh God dammit. I don't want to.
Maureen:
I like what they're up to.
Dan:
I don't.
Maureen:
I do.
Dan:
I don't like what they're up to.
Maureen:
Yeah, I like it.
Dan:
This is a nightmare.
Maureen:
A fun game.
Dan:
It's not.
Maureen:
I'm playing a game.
Dan:
Oh God.
Maureen:
You know who likes games?
Dan:
Who?
Maureen:
My man Joe. He likes swimming.
Dan:
Oh boy.
Maureen:
That's right.
Dan:
I don't know.
Maureen:
Hey Dan, guess what?
Dan:
What, what?
Maureen:
Election's in November.
Dan:
Oh God.
Maureen:
It's five months away.
Dan:
No, it's not five months?
Maureen:
Well okay six.
Dan:
Okay, thank God.
Maureen:
But not even.
Dan:
Is it?
Maureen:
It's just under.
Dan:
Oh my God.
Maureen:
That's right.
Dan:
Oh my God.
Maureen:
Let's look at the calendar and see. Looks like it's going to be the third. Just under six months Dan.
Dan:
Oh my God Amy Carter's shoe.
Maureen:
Vote for Joe.
Dan:
Oh boy.
Maureen:
Vote for my man Joe and then we play the games with the Kellyanne and the George.
Dan:
Oh God.
Maureen:
It's dirty.
Dan:
Oh God, I don't want any of this in my head.
Maureen:
Hi.
Dan:
None of it.
Maureen:
Oh Dan, I'll put something else in your head. Are you ready? I'm going to put something else in your head. I'm going to read you a headline from CBS News that you can see this headline in many places.
Dan:
Yeah.
Maureen:
Are you ready Dan?
Dan:
I don't know.
Maureen:
Dan are you ready?
Dan:
Sure.
Maureen:
All right. Carnival to resume some cruises on August 1st.
Dan:
Maureen, the thing that is truly remarkable about this moment in time is everything.
Maureen:
Dan I know someone, a friend of mine, he listens to this, hello Sean if you're out there. He tweeted something today that I thought was a great idea. Make them have the RNC on a cruise ship.
Dan:
It would be a lot easier I would think for them if they were doing that business in international waters generally.
Maureen:
Mm-hmm (affirmative).
Dan:
But yeah.
Maureen:
They would love it.
Dan:
I mean as far as we know the RNC is continuing to be planned as an in-person, thousands of people event, right? I know that the DNC has suspended and is moving toward a virtual thing, but the RNC, Republican National Convention I believe is still moving forward.
Maureen:
Fabulous. Carnival Cruise Line is already planning to set sail even as a federal order bars the crew and some of its ships from disembarking in the US.
Dan:
[crosstalk 00:49:19].
Maureen:
[crosstalk 00:49:19]. The embeddled cruise operator said Monday it will resume service on its North American lines on August 1st. Starting August 1st a total of eight Carnival ships will operate from US cities.
Dan:
Jesus. Eight?
Maureen:
Yep. Three US cities: Galveston, Texas; Miami and Port Canaveral; and they will make stops in the Bahamas, Cayman Islands, Jamaica, and Mexico, among other places.
Dan:
There's no way that is happening.
Maureen:
Then all the other cruises right now are canceled through August 31st.
Dan:
Oh phew.
Maureen:
They will start-
Dan:
Well everything will be fine September 1st so we're good.
Maureen:
They will start cruising again.
Dan:
Carnival is also the Pacific Princess right? The boat that is the Love Boat boat.
Maureen:
Possibly yeah.
Dan:
I believe it's Carnival Princess Cruise Lines. I think that was a merger at some point. Okay, Maureen Johnson, I have a business proposition for us.
Maureen:
Okay.
Dan:
We need to write and pitch a reboot of the Love Boat that takes place on that boat.
Maureen:
On the Corona boat?
Dan:
On a newly disembarked or embarked cruise come August 1st filled with people looking for love and viruses.
Maureen:
Yes.
Dan:
The Love Boat.
Maureen:
Did they get stuck at sea or not?
Dan:
I think they would, right? The very first port they aren't going to be allowed into. They're going to be set adrift.
Maureen:
It's so nice to bring those islands, so good to bring them viruses riddled assholes.
Dan:
Yeah. Absolutely. Is Charo still alive?
Maureen:
Yeah.
Dan:
She would get cast.
Maureen:
She's great, we have to protect her at all costs.
Dan:
Yeah, Charo yeah. I can't hear the Love Boat and not think hoochi, coochi, coochi Captain Stubing.
Maureen:
Dan when would-
Dan:
The very first thing that goes in my head.
Maureen:
When would you get on a plane again?
Dan:
That is the thing. We were discussing that here because we have reached that point where it's like, "It would be really nice to go to Disney," and I still maintain that when Disney opens I have a relative amount of faith in whatever the fucking processes they're putting in place because they are not going to dick around with that. But the getting on an airplane and flying to Orlando, Florida, getting off that airplane, going through an airport to get there I don't know when that happens.
Maureen:
Yeah, I mean Oscar's family lives in England, so we go over... I go at least once, he goes at least twice. Right now I mean we were supposed to go in July. Right now our most ambitious optimistic scenario is October, no December.
Dan:
Yeah, I mean-
Maureen:
I mean we really don't know.
Dan:
Who can think that far ahead now?
Maureen:
Yeah, I mean we really don't know when we can go.
Dan:
I mean I've been getting emails left and right from United and shit explaining all their processes to me, including finally boarding airplanes from the back to the front, which everyone insisted could never happen but now suddenly is able to be happening. I don't know. I mean it is impossible to know anything that far ahead. How far? It might as well be a billion years.
Maureen:
Also, the other thing that's obviously been happening this week was an armed takeover of state government sort of.
Dan:
Yep.
Maureen:
The fact that the weird new dividing line seems to be whether or not you should even wear masks.
Dan:
Well that's this weeks dividing line, but Laura Ingraham on Fox last night did a whole thing about six feet from each other is bullshit.
Maureen:
Really? Is that where we're going now Dan?
Dan:
Yes, that's where we're going next. We have these assholes that are theoretically protesting stay at home orders, but now that some of those orders are being lifted, even though every single person involved in any level of science says we are nowhere near the point that we should be doing that as a country. Now they are saying they don't want to wear masks. Soon they'll be saying they don't want to be six feet from each other. It's not good Maureen. Literally just as we started to record, the New York Times went live with, and this is the headline, The White House is Considering Winding Down the Coronavirus Taskforce in the Coming Weeks.
Maureen:
The country hasn't hit peak yet.
Dan:
Oh no. No, no, we have not. It's not good Maureen. That shit is not good. Sayswhovians stay inside if you can, mask up. Did you hear that? That was my hand farting in case anyone thought that was me letting one rip.
Maureen:
Dan we know-
Dan:
I put my hands together and they made a fart sound.
Maureen:
We know you don't feel well, it's all right.
Dan:
Can you hear that? Can you hear that?
Maureen:
No. Well now you're really calling attention to...
Dan:
I can't make it happen now. If I lick my palm. Nope. All right, that was compelling audio for a moment there. Stay inside if you can, masks, gloves, Sayswhovians we want you to be safe.
Maureen:
But Dan, we got to bring it back up.
Dan:
All right, bring it up. I did the whole fart hand thing.
Maureen:
Well.
Dan:
Did you hear it? Did you hear it that time?
Maureen:
That was your attempt?
Dan:
I think my mic is not attuned to fart hands.
Maureen:
The other day, just for fun, for entertainment, I decided to call Oscar Winston Tea Fart Bottom all day.
Dan:
How'd that go? He would have loved it.
Maureen:
Some days I call him Phil Collins, that's funnier.
Dan:
Sure.
Maureen:
That came about the first day I was given my one neurological medication. The very first time I took it it made me high, and I was walking across the lawn and I started sideways walking like a crab and laughing and pointing at him and going, "Phil Collins," and I couldn't stop laughing or crab walking and calling him Phil Collins. It made me laugh so hard I could barely stand up. I kept referring to him as Phil Collins and it brings me utter delight because he's like, "What does that even mean?" I was like, "Phil Collins," and that's all I'll say is Phil Collins.
Dan:
What do you think Phil Collins is doing right now?
Maureen:
Drumming.
Dan:
How come we haven't gotten him as a voice to...
Maureen:
I met his ex-wife once.
Dan:
What? How?
Maureen:
My friend Cassie had a big moving and her daughter Lily was in the movie and it's his ex-wife, Lily's mom. She's the President of the Beverly Hills Women's Association or something.
Dan:
Sure.
Maureen:
That goes about how you would expect it to go. I got to see Hollywood people doing Hollywood things and it really was people lunching.
Dan:
You sure did.
Maureen:
Yeah. Dan what have we been talking about? How long have we been inside?
Dan:
Phil Collins.
Maureen:
Phil Collins.
Dan:
A long time, 50 some odd days. Says Who is made possible by you.
Maureen:
By Phil Collins.
Dan:
Through your support of our... Remember, at one point that was. One point we said that that was what it was. Maybe he's back, maybe our sponsor Phil Collins is back. Says Who is made possible by Phil Collins and you, through your support of our Patreon at Patreon.com/sayswho. Remember, as if once a week isn't enough, all through quarantine, Town Watch supporters, that is $5 a month and up at our Patreon, get another bonus episode of Says Who. Up right now is this past Sunday where you and I play friends or dark friends, everyone's favorite new game. This coming Sunday is a thrilling episode where you are tracking a pen that is being shipped to you and we talk about shipping and I get to talk about containers and stevedore strikes and it's good, I love shipping. I'm a very exciting person.
Dan:
Get your Says Who merch, including Says Who logo shirts and mugs, by popular demand at merch, that is M-E-R-C-H dot SaysWhoPodcast.com. Our theme music is performed by Ted Leo.
Maureen:
Phil Collins.
Dan:
If only, can you imagine. Our logo is designed by Darth and can I say, Maureen Johnson, it continued tradition that my family has upheld through all of quarantine from week one and on is to on Friday to mark the end of the week and the start of the weekend. We get dressed up in nice clothes and we eat a nice meal together and this week I made Darth's smashed potatoes and they were really good.
Maureen:
Are they?
Dan:
They were really, really, really good. Really good. You can contact us @SaysWhoPodcast on Twitter. You can email at Hey, that is H-E-Y @SaysWhoPodcast.com. You can join the discussion on Facebook at /groups/sayswhovians. Our Facebook group is moderated by Janice Dillard. You can spread the word, subscribe, and please leave stars and reviews on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen. I've been saying this since the start of this whole quarantine, but I will continue to say it. Podcasts are seeing a reduction in listeners because nobody is commuting, and nobody is going to gyms, and nobody is doing those things that they normally do when they listen to podcasts. One of the things that you can do, if there is a podcast that you love, maybe it's this one, maybe it's another one, that you can do to help support that podcast during this time is to write a review because it definitely, absolutely helps. Please do that, and you can join us next Wednesday, May 13th, for our next episode.
Maureen:
With Phil Collins as our special guest.
Dan:
Oh man. I was obsessed with Phil Collins when I was in seventh grade.
Maureen:
Really?
Dan:
Oh my God, yes. Yes.
Maureen:
That surprises me. You're such a punk guy.
Dan:
Not in seventh grade. In seventh grade I was a very, very awkward kid with no friends and Phil Collins records.
Maureen:
There's nothing wrong with that. I live with-
Dan:
No there sure isn't.
Maureen:
He used to drum, that's why I keep making that noise everybody is that he was a drummer. It was a drum thing I was doing.
Dan:
I think most people know the drum Phil from In The Air Tonight, and if they don't well you have a fun listening afternoon for-
Maureen:
Real treat. Listen to that little drum noise.
Dan:
From my basement in Chicago, I am Dan Sinker.
Maureen:
From the sofa in my office where dog peacefully sleeps next to me on a giant pile of soft blankets, she's out. She's out.
Dan:
It sounds so comforting.
Maureen:
She's all cozed up in there and she's very cozy Dan.
Dan:
Well then you can say your name.
Maureen:
Yeah.
Dan:
Then it's over.
Maureen:
Yep.
Dan:
And I'm Maureen.
Maureen:
I'm Maureen.
Dan:
Johnson.
Maureen:
Hmm?
Dan:
You started.
Maureen:
Well you know Dan I don't want it to end because we're stuck inside and we can do a two hour episode today.
Dan:
No, no I have so many things.
Maureen:
So do I, but-
Dan:
I have so many things today.
Maureen:
Don't you like talking?
Dan:
I do.
Maureen:
Yeah.
Dan:
I do like talking Maureen, but there's always... Is it a kids Christmas special with that song? There's always tomorrow.
Maureen:
Do you hear my phone ringing.
Dan:
Where dreams do come true. I think that was the Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.
Maureen:
I don't know if you can hear my phone ringing.
Dan:
I can't, but you could say your name and then you could go pick up that phone. Maybe it's important.
Maureen:
Hard to hear over the ring.
Dan:
Maybe it's Phil Collins Maureen. Maybe it's Phil Collins.
Maureen:
Got to go, I'm Maureen Johnson.
Dan:
This has been Says Who.
Maureen:
Phil Collins.
Dan:
I really did like him a lot when I was in seventh grade. He was my only friend.