There's a lot of dog in this episode.
*Wipes down pod catcher* Oh hello! We were just making this nice and clean for you! SaysWhovia is always a safe retreat.
Dan and Maureen are doing fine, in terms adjusted for these times. Maureen is trying to record in a bedroom with a dog who has woken up. She is… very awake. She wants to play. Oh, and Maureen injured her eye. You’re going to hear a lot about that. Dan is doing the same sort of thing in Chicago, but with both eyes. He’s got kids, a dog, and a house to clean and keep locked down.
Basically, the two of them are reporting in from locked rooms in two places where things are a little jumpy!
But it’s okay. There’s talk of plants, of games, of making, of change. And a lot of stuff about Maureen’s eye and dog. We can’t lie. It comes up a bunch.
In times like this, get weird. Put on your superhero cape. We’re in this together. All the love to you SaysWhovians.
Dan:
This episode of Says Who is brought to you by you through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho, you literally make this happen. So thank you. You can sign up at a bunch of different levels. At those levels, you get different things.
Dan:
Some of them come through the mail to you and that you should wipe them down when you get them which is what I just finished doing that with our mail, but with a bunch of other mail that came into my house. But, it's there for you, patreon.com/sayswho.
Maureen:
Oh, hi there. It's me, Maureen. I write some books. Now listen, books are great. You maybe really needing some books right now and I recommend that. I would say a number of things. Check out eReading, check out your library's digital selection, support your local library and if you want, you can get books of mine, but you don't need.
Maureen:
But if you want to, I've written a bunch like the Truly Devious Series which is a three book series so it's a good time to get into a series. So if you've ever been like, "I want to read that book, but it's 90 books." Well guess what? This is your moment.
Maureen:
Get in there. Read the big series. Books. Oh, and also weirdly, I think right now, my book 13 Little Blue Envelopes is on sale on eBook for 49 cents. I don't know why.
Dan:
Wow.
Maureen:
Yeah, I think it still is. It should be on like, "Nope, mommy's napkin baby." Sorry, my dog likes tissues and that's it. You can get it for 49 cents. If you check on where you buy your eBooks right now, it could be on there for 49 cents. That's a pretty good deal for a book and I support any discounts or anything like that. Were you about to say [crosstalk 00:01:57]
Dan:
Hello, this is Dan again. I was about to move to the next thing.
Maureen:
I don't know.
Dan:
That's all. I'm just trying to move us along here Maureen.
Maureen:
Look. All right Dan.
Dan:
It's all I'm doing, it's all I'm doing.
Maureen:
I want you to do it.
Dan:
It's all I'm trying to do, trying to move along, trying to go. Hey, [crosstalk 00:02:13]
Maureen:
So you should really start.
Dan:
This is Dan.
Maureen:
Right. No, this is ...
Dan:
Yeah, okay. I will.
Maureen:
Yup, got it.
Dan:
Yup. Doing it. You have been asking for yes.
Maureen:
No, you should do it. No.
Dan:
Okay. You listeners Sayswhovians have been asking for Says Who logo merch to appear in our merch store which has a lot of other cool stuff, but it has not had anything with the logo.
Dan:
Well, guess what? My quarantine coping project this morning was getting logo merch up. So you can now get a regular t-shirt, fitted t-shirt and a coffee mug with the Says Who logo.
Dan:
You might need some coffee mugs and we also in addition to the logo mug, we have These Aren't Bright Guys and Things Got Out of Hand Mug and we have a Grow For It mug where one side is a little stick and the other side is a verdant tree.
Dan:
You should pick some up at merch, M-E-R-C-H.sayswhopodcast.com, that is merch.sayswhopodcast.com, we got things for you.
Maureen:
We got things for you. These aren't bright guys and ... No, it's not a good song. Hold on. Let's think of a good one. These ...
Dan:
It was a good song.
Maureen:
These aren't bright guys. Things just got out of hand. They're not bright guys. Things just got out of hand. Trying, really got some time to work on my music career at home. Release my album.
Dan:
I like it. Hey Maureen, can you lend me those Lysol wipes over by you?
Maureen:
Yeah, you want the liquid or ... You don't want the ...
Dan:
I'm working on scrubbing down the archive over here.
Maureen:
Okay. If you want the wipes because I'm going to use the bleach spray on this side so that anything that anybody's listening to, I'm just going to bleach the actual audio with the spray.
Dan:
Yup. I'm just going to wipe down, there's 132 episodes to wipe down so I'm going to wipe all those down.
Maureen:
Okay, use the wipes. Yeah.
Dan:
Do you have any gloves? Because I'm going to destroy my hands with these Lysol wipes if I don't put some gloves on first.
Maureen:
Here you go. Got these gloves right here, yup.
Dan:
[crosstalk 00:04:40]. Thank you.
Maureen:
Yup. I'm just going to spray the audio. There we go. All right. I think we're ready to go.
Dan:
Oh shit. Wait, did you clean the bonus content?
Maureen:
Oh shit. All right, hold on.
Dan:
I forgot about that shelf.
Maureen:
Can't break the chain, clean everything.
Dan:
I think we're all scrubbed up and clean here Maureen.
Maureen:
Okay, goggles on, masks on.
Dan:
Yup.
Maureen:
Protective covering.
Dan:
I'm ready to go.
Maureen:
Booties.
Dan:
I'm always got a booty.
Maureen:
All right. It wasn't necessary.
Dan:
But you're the one that said booty.
Maureen:
Just keep going.
Dan:
It's time for Says Who.
Maureen:
I'm going to spray your beard.
Dan:
Welcome to Says Who, the podcast that is ...
Maureen:
It's a dog strategy. No, don't eat the ... Come on, it's okay. No. Hey, hey, hey. Stop it. Are you wilding? No, we're not wilding right now. Down. No, we're not playing right now. This is not playtime. Sorry, I've got ...
Dan:
She's got the taste of eyeball now Maureen.
Maureen:
She just woke up. When she wakes up, she goes into frisky puppy mode and she makes these little play with me yips and then she grabs stuff and just shakes it around. Right now she's shaking my pajamas. Wish I could, I would video this if I could. Yeah, good girl.
Maureen:
She's just throwing my pajama top up in the air and catching it. She gets these little bursts where she wakes up.
Dan:
Wait, what are you wearing?
Maureen:
Clothes. Day clothes.
Dan:
Whoa. Well, I didn't realize I was recording with the queen of the ...
Maureen:
Hey.
Dan:
This is so ...
Maureen:
Down. Down. You're a good girl, but that's not allowed.
Dan:
Oh, we're getting off to a good start here.
Maureen:
You have to chew your bone. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. It's just the way it is. I know you want to play, but this is not the time. We're not doing play right now, we're doing rest right now. You know that girl. Nope. No. I just told you no.
Maureen:
There's a lot of this in my life. Actually, she has two modes, asleep and play with me and she goes in and out of them very, very quickly. So she's [crosstalk 00:07:41]
Dan:
My dog just has two modes which is asleep or whining at the door.
Maureen:
Dexi is very happy, but ...
Dan:
That's it. That's all she's got.
Maureen:
When she wakes up and wants to play, she makes these little yips that you just heard, just these little ... She looks at you like all bright eyed and just goes woof, woof, woof and then she ... To get your attention.
Maureen:
She doesn't bite, but she kind of opens up. Yup. No, I just told you. No. You've got to chew the toy. I'm sorry, that's what's going on right now. Good girl. She actually gets the message usually when I talk to her. Hey, hey, what did I just say? What did I just say? Hey. No. Chew the toy. No, no, nope. Sorry. No. No, I just told you. I don't care.
Maureen:
No, no, no, down. Down. Down. She's so awake. Hey, hey, I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. Chew the toy. [inaudible 00:08:56].
Dan:
Oh.
Maureen:
[crosstalk 00:09:03] time. That's right. Good girl. I'll hold it, I'll hold the bone for you. I'll hold the bone, but you've got to chew on the bone. Bone time, it's bone time.
Dan:
Well, we've answered my first question which is how are you doing?
Maureen:
Hey, down, down, down. I just told you we're not doing this right now. I told you we're not doing this right now. No, no, no, no, no. Don't stick your butt in my face, here. That's my finger. Down. All right. Down. Hey. Someone's about to get put in bed. No, I mean it. Now Dex, I'm joking anymore. Hey.
Dan:
She's going to sit down. Just sitting down.
Maureen:
All right. Here we go. She's now in her bed.
Dan:
All right.
Maureen:
Sorry, she was ...
Dan:
And this has been Says Who.
Maureen:
She knows not to ... She doesn't bite, but she tries to get your attention by open-mouthing your arm. She opens her mouth, it puts it around her arm without any closing just to try to shake your arm and emotion.
Maureen:
She also tries to tug on your clothing, she'll tug on the hand of your shirt or your pants. She pulled my shorts fully off the other day just like whipped them off. It was amazing, so ...
Dan:
This is how you almost lost an eye this weekend Maureen.
Maureen:
Okay, here's the thing though. We should explain that we recorded bonus content on Sunday and just like a half hour before, it was really, really close to the time.
Maureen:
I still don't know how I did it, the recording. Dex was asleep in bed and she was just being good, just totally asleep and was gently waking up, but she just ... The thing where they just strictly stretched their legs as they wake up.
Maureen:
We were just unfortunately positioned that as she stretched her leg gently, her nail went directly into my eye.
Dan:
Oh boy.
Maureen:
So she was ... It was not her fault. It's just the way it happened and it was one of those things that the second it happens, you know you've got a problem. You know a bad thing just happened.
Dan:
Yeah, yeah.
Maureen:
I was like, "Oh, oh." It hurt like the dickens and it was just pouring water and it was so painful. So I grabbed a cloth and put it against it. I didn't quite know what to do.
Maureen:
I was like, "I think I have a corneal abrasion." Definitely there's a scratch on my eye. So all of Sunday was spent dealing with that. I recorded those episodes, but I don't know how.
Maureen:
I had my eyes closed the whole time and it was like I was being stabbed in the face the whole time I was talking. It hurt so much. So I got a tele-medicine appointment with my doctor, with the eye doctor who called me right back because otherwise ...
Dan:
Wow.
Maureen:
Under normal circumstances, this would have been an ER trip or an urgent care trip, probably an ER trip and I was like, "Well, that's just not going to happen. I'm not going anywhere."
Maureen:
So I called him, I left a message. You could call your doctor's answering service for emergency, and he called right back, called in two prescriptions.
Maureen:
So, but Sunday was spent with my eyes closed and in stabbing pain all day and let me just tell you something Dan, I can deal with the lockdown and all the stuff that's happening, but then I couldn't read or do anything or write anything because that was my big workday because we're kind of trading off right.
Maureen:
So I couldn't write, I couldn't read, I couldn't watch a show. I couldn't play ... I couldn't do anything. I just had to sit there with my eyes closed and that makes you feel crazy.
Dan:
Yeah.
Maureen:
So all of Sunday was spent ... And it wasn't super bad, it was just very weird.
Dan:
Yeah.
Maureen:
And Oscar had to do everything.
Dan:
Yeah, as we talked about in the post wound bonus content which is available by the way for town watch and above supporters on our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho.
Dan:
I had eye surgery a few years ago now and to fix some musculature around one of my eyes, not LASIK or something like that, real knockout, get it done kind of surgery. And yeah, I had to spend two or three days with ... I had a big thing taped over one eye, but I just preferred to pull knit hat over my eyes like mush mouth on the Fat Albert cartoons and yes, it is disconcerting. I watched a lot of things with a narrative audio, descriptive audio and it past the time.
Maureen:
I remember talking to you, but I was in so much ... It could hurt so much that I don't really remember. I was trying to not ... It really hurt. It felt like someone was stabbing me with a pencil directly in my eye like every five seconds.
Maureen:
It was very, I didn't like it. It's fine, I'm super lucky. The next day even though it was really puffy, it puffed up and basically sealed shut from swelling, but ...
Dan:
Yeah.
Maureen:
I'm on the third day now of the medicine and it's so much better. Even yesterday I could see.
Dan:
Oh, that's great.
Maureen:
So I had both eyes ...
Dan:
That's good.
Maureen:
I'm a little light sensitive and I went near the window and I jerked away from the window like a vampire like, "Oh God." So a little light sensitive, but I really lucked out.
Dan:
Maybe that's a side effect. Get your eyes but you became a vampire.
Maureen:
I'll take it. I was prepared ...
Dan:
How will you know? How will you know until we're allowed out of our homes again?
Maureen:
Well, that will be a fun experiment. For a while I was convinced I was a werewolf.
Dan:
Yeah. You mean, since Sunday or generally?
Maureen:
Generally. You want an explanation why I thought it was a werewolf?
Dan:
I wouldn't mind it. We've got a whole podcast here Maureen and your dog isn't barking anymore so we can move forward.
Maureen:
Well, that's because she's in sleepy by bed. She's in her dog bed like in the crate and she's happy because she has a toy, and a gigantic pile of blankets I put in there, because she just likes to dig.
Maureen:
She likes to dig into blankets and make a big pile and then flop into them so ... Oh, the other thing she's taken to doing when she wakes up and wants my attention is if I have a blanket over my legs because I frequently work in the living room in a big double chair.
Maureen:
I prop myself up on a chair with pillows and stuff to sort of sit myself up properly because if I'm in that chair, she'll often just curl up next to me and go to sleep. So I just work there because that means she's like, "Oh, when you're in this chair, I sleep." You're starting to hear the noise as a protest.
Dan:
There it is.
Maureen:
Do you think I should let her out?
Dan:
I just got a delivery of a large number of peanut butter-filled bones for our dog because she's losing her shit at this point.
Maureen:
After this recording, I think I walk her for an hour so ...
Dan:
Yeah, I need to start taking her on longer walks than I am, but the weather here has been so shitty. It's not conducive to being outside. Yeah, right now it's like 40 degrees and the air is simply filled with water.
Dan:
It's not really raining so much, but you walk out and you get very wet within moments so it is not conducive and it is making my dog bananas, but Maureen ...
Maureen:
But, first of all, werewolf and second, that moisture good for coronavirus because it's more ... It flourishes more in dry air where it ... But the water is going to wash it down a little bit, so that's good.
Dan:
Okay.
Maureen:
Knock it out of the air, hit the ground like that.
Dan:
All right.
Maureen:
So take it. Here's why I thought I was werewolf.
Dan:
Whatever it takes.
Maureen:
So you know I had some neurological damage couple years ago and I get flares that come in waves. These flares really seem to be connected to hormonal shifts because whatever hormone would ding the whole neurological mechanism.
Maureen:
So suddenly, I wouldn't even know what the trigger really was. It was just maybe once or twice a month I would, everything would just go and just switch on all at once.
Dan:
Yeah.
Maureen:
And that kind of cycle suggests that I'm a werewolf.
Dan:
That's true. That and all the fur.
Maureen:
Mm-hmm (affirmative). And the killing.
Dan:
Yeah, those three things, check them off.
Maureen:
So I would just call it, it's werewolf time. Do you hear that the low sound, the low protest? "Oh, what did I do to be over here? This isn't fair. Nothing is fair. I don't, It's not fair. I didn't do anything to deserve this."
Dan:
How are you holding up Maureen?
Maureen:
Pretty well.
Dan:
Yeah?
Maureen:
Really.
Dan:
okay.
Maureen:
I would say because full disclosure, I live in the middle of New York City which is in a situation right now. So I report to you from the center of a place with a real situation going on.
Maureen:
I've got a dog who's a little impatient right now. I would say that the situation is scary. The situation is scary, but I would not say I am scared. I am scared, but I'm not like ...
Dan:
Poor dog.
Maureen:
I know. Hold on. Just wait. I'm going to let her out and see if she takes the cue to just lay down the side.
Dan:
This is like back when Dexi was a puppy recording.
Maureen:
I know. It's tough. It's just that she doesn't know what is she supposed to be doing sometimes. So usually the signal that I'm sitting down with my computer and stuff is, "Okay, I'm supposed to lay down next to you and go to sleep and then after that, we'll go for our walk."
Maureen:
Oh, when I put the blanket on my legs, I was saying when I work in the living room, and she's decides that it's time for me to get up because if it's cold in there, I got the blanket.
Maureen:
She grabs the end of the blanket and slowly pulls it off of me and then if that doesn't get me, she pulls off my socks one by one. This dog is like I will get your attention. [crosstalk 00:20:55]
Dan:
She's really working hard.
Maureen:
Hold on. We're just going to ... I'm just going to let her out and see if we've learned our lesson. Let's find out if we've learned our lesson [crosstalk 00:21:02]
Dan:
Oh yes, that will go well. This will work well. This isn't going to work out.
Maureen:
And do a nice lay down. Yeah. I like what I see. I like what I see. Okay, that's right. Good girl. Just chew the stick. There you go baby. That's a good girl. There we go. So, okay. We'll see how this goes Dan. We have to do our best.
Dan:
Yeah.
Maureen:
It's fine.
Dan:
It's all we can do.
Maureen:
Going in and out ...
Dan:
It's literally all we can do.
Maureen:
Going in and out is a lot of work. So we have to be like I said before, we have to pass through common areas to get out. Our building and the management that owns it have done a lot of really good things I have to say including they spray-treated it with like hospital grade cleaner and they clean it several times a day, all the ... Everything's wiped down with disinfectants a lot.
Maureen:
There's a lot of signage when people get it. Oh, here we go. Hold on. Oh, and you're farting, and you're farting. Okay. Sorry. I got the cream cheese lick mat, I got the relaxation blanket. I got a hand pull it down. You only get this if you lay down.
Dan:
I'm sorry, did you just say cream cheese lick mat?
Maureen:
You heard me.
Dan:
What is a cream cheese lick mat?
Maureen:
So it's a little silicon mat with little nubbins, little soft nubbins that stick out of it.
Dan:
Okay.
Maureen:
And you can spread things on it and it's got suction cups on the bottom, something you might put in the bathtub and so you spread cream cheese or peanut butter or something on and it's got these little nubs so they have to lick between them and it sticks so that they sit there and they have to work at it to get all of the good stuff out of the mat.
Maureen:
So they have to work at it and sit there and lick on it. You could put soft dog food in there or whatever. Any kind of soft stuff and they just have to sit there and quietly lick at it to get it all off.
Maureen:
See Dan, her trainer. No, you've got to lay down for this. I got cream cheese on me now. Are we still answering the question? How am I? I don't think we actually got into it.
Dan:
I believe that we are still at how are you? Yes.
Maureen:
Let's get to how are you then? I believe I've answered the question.
Dan:
I feel like my dog issues are far less than yours now. So that part's good. Good. We are day 18 at home now I believe. We are two kids here, a four year old and a 14 year old which is very different lesson planning for the various schooling.
Dan:
The weather is shit, but we have plenty of food and we generally have our wits about us. I would say overall, we're holding up okay, I'm holding up okay. Occasionally, there are days where you are just like what the fuck is happening and occasionally, there are days that are like this is too much, but I would say overall, hang in in there.
Dan:
We talked about this on the bonus episode, but Janice on your recommendation because you mentioned that you got a little foldable exercise bike. She looked into foldable treadmills which cost a little bit more than the exercise bikes, but she had been running a lot and in fact in gearing up to run the equivalent of a half marathon this month before everything shut down and the trails here either have been closed or are a little too populated for running on in a way that made her feel comfortable. So we went ahead and got that and she ran seven miles in our basement yesterday and that was ...
Maureen:
Amazing.
Dan:
Fantastic. Yeah, we brought an old TV, we stacked up a bunch of shelving units, put an old TV on there and hooked up an ancient Roku box to it and she was able to watch a show with closed captioning and run for seven miles and that was great.
Dan:
To me, it is perhaps no surprise to you, but it's little projects like that are getting me through just sort of like what are quality of life, things that we can do here in the house that are going to make it so that people are able to function in some way or another during all of this because we're here for a while still I would get.
Maureen:
Well, I have a lot to say.
Dan:
So yeah, we're doing okay. Like I said, my dog is the thing that's driving me the most crazy, but so it goes.
Maureen:
Generally Dexi is pretty good. Honestly, it's just that I confused her because I got up from ... When I get it from the chair that we're going to go for a walk or we're going to play so I [crosstalk 00:26:49]
Dan:
She heard you say her name.
Maureen:
Yeah, I didn't do the thing that I was supposed to do. I didn't fulfill the promise of the new routine. So she followed me in here to the bedroom to record. You hear me breaking treats in the background because she's resting on her mat.
Maureen:
See, when she lays on the mat, she gets treats. She was trained to do this, this is called the rest mat treats. So I violated the protocol and therefore she was like, "I thought we were playing. I don't understand. I'm awake now. I thought we were going to go play and do our patrol."
Maureen:
Which is what I call the hour long walk that we take. So I keep her hustling. There are places like there's ... Luckily there are a way ... I found different paths that basically have no ... We're all really avoiding everybody well here in New York.
Maureen:
So the closest person is like 15 feet away. I was saying before that's a little sometimes tricky to get in and out. It just requires a lot of ... You just have to be, you just have to do the routine.
Maureen:
We wear masks on the elevator, we don't ride the elevator with anybody else. Occasionally, people get on when you're on and I'm like, "Why are you doing this? I thought we all understood that we're supposed to ride alone, but I guess not."
Dan:
Yeah.
Maureen:
I've only been on the elevator with people a few times like in the last year or two weeks, like three times if that and I have to take that thing several times a day. It's almost always empty and I wear a mask on the elevator, always.
Maureen:
So it's a whole I don't ever touch the buttons. I hit them with my foot or my elbow. I wear a mask on the elevator, and then I get out and then outside, I don't have contact with anybody.
Maureen:
I also don't touch anything. So once we come in from that, then it's wash, take stuff off, wash again. So I usually wash my hands three times after I come in, just to kind of ... As I settle things and then I spray my coat with Lysol.
Dan:
Yeah.
Maureen:
I just do. If the elbows have touched buttons and stuff, I hit it with Lysol and then I have a kind of pleasant nightly routine which is the scrub, the nightly scrub down. So every night before bed I get the bleach solution that I've made up and a paper towel and I do every light switch, every doorknob, every handle.
Maureen:
The counters are cleaned first with something to clean them like just a normal organic to clean debris spray and then the bleach solution. So yeah every night, it takes like 20 minutes.
Maureen:
Yeah, 15 minutes to kind of do everything. Just every doorknob, every switch, et cetera. The outside of the door, the doorknob, the bell button, the little buzzer button on the outside of the door I do.
Maureen:
So we're kind of doing and we only go outside, we only even cross our own threshold to take the dog out. I only get the mail now once every two to three days. I just leave it in the box.
Dan:
Yeah.
Maureen:
And then if I get it, I spray it with Lysol and I use gloves and the laundry which I've only done once is a lot more gloves and stuff like that, but our laundry room basically only ... I don't go in if there's any other people and they've made it so that we can go in 24 hours now and be by ourselves and they're seeing your only time.
Dan:
Oh, nice.
Maureen:
So I wish, if I had one wish right now, I'm very, very, very lucky and I'm very thankful all the time. If I had a door to the outside, if I had an outside, I could do this so easily. Me personally, I'm fine with it.
Dan:
Yeah, I mean that's like hearing you run through, I'm like, "Our operational security does not need to be as tight as yours because we have a direct line to outside." But even then, yeah we now have a thing called lunch and chores that happen every day and that is our cleaning window.
Dan:
The four year old is assigned doorknobs and light switches with a Lysol wipe. He's very good at it now. Our home has never been cleaner. I'm not even ... We are not great at cleaning our house and boy, it is something to see, but yeah, I am outside with the dog and I am always now wearing a mask.
Dan:
It's not a medical mask because the general consensus is you don't need that level of protection just being out in the world, but I have a ... They are biker bandanas that I ordered a few weeks ago.
Dan:
So they're like head tubes essentially that you put on. So yeah, I'm wearing that when I go out. We have a whole package and mail protocol that involves gloves and a table on our back porch and Lysol wipes and separate gloves for opening the box and separate gloves for taking things out of the box and yeah, in fact, we've recorded a little bit late today because just as I was coming back with the dog, we got a grocery delivery and a couple of other packages and I was like, "Here we go." And had to start the wipe down which takes a long time.
Maureen:
Yeah.
Dan:
I would say of all of the minor annoyances in a massive annoyance and a massive crisis, the wiping down of every single thing is the thing that drives me the most bananas, but is also quite important.
Maureen:
The way Oscar's work is, the way that he gets to do his job is that he has to be at work and present in front of his bank of computers with his headset on having meetings and running in helping keeping the company running.
Maureen:
So he's actually doing a lot of things to make sure things keep moving and the company keeps going so I end up because I'm more flexible doing a lot of keeping the household going.
Maureen:
It's also more my wheelhouse. I grew up like this. I've always bleached the doorknobs. It's very hard for me to get my work done because my job is I'm the homesteader. I'm the one that's wrangling grocery deliveries for myself, my family, getting us supplies, making sure that everything is ... I'm formulating the hand sanitizer, I'm doing pantry checks.
Maureen:
I'm doing all ... If I feel like I'm running. It's like my own little weird Stardew Valley in an apartment. I don't hate that, but it's a lot of stuff like, and it takes a lot of time.
Dan:
Yeah, agreed
Maureen:
It takes a tremendous amount of time.
Dan:
It does. I mean, that's the thing. Both of us worked from home before this and it has been so fascinating to me to watch people that didn't transition and make all of the adjustments and struggled with the working from home part because that isn't the struggle for me.
Dan:
It's the trying to continue to do my work while also doing all of the other things that are now suddenly jobs in the home that is a real challenge. We're having to run preschool for a four year old and there's only so many times you can watch Mo Willems drawing cartoons and things like that.
Dan:
So yeah, the number of hours in a day spent simply moving the general home operations around is staggering to me.
Maureen:
Yeah, and what you just heard at the top of this episode ...
Dan:
And a lot of that just has to do with the fact that we just didn't do it. We were not doorknob bleachers. That is the thing, when we are cleaning, I am like, "We were disgusting before." It's like we were the grossest humans that ever lived.
Maureen:
No.
Dan:
Yeah, it's certainly a thing that I would like to carry forward is keeping our home a little more clean than we used to.
Maureen:
When I ran through my protocols with my nurse mom on the phone yesterday, I spent a lot of time on the phone when I'm outside walking around because what the fuck else am I going to do?
Maureen:
Sometimes the walk is up and down. There's a giant empty parking lot. So it's one of the best places to walk her. I just walk her up and down the length of this enormous empty ... Because there's nobody there and she seems fine with it.
Maureen:
She's like, we're doing this weird patrol, okay. But I was going through my protocol and my nurse mom who has very high standards said, "Wow, you got some of these routines down better than some ICU nurses I've met." So I was like, "Yup, I do."
Dan:
You've got it. You've got it.
Maureen:
Oscar had to go to the drugstore to get my medicine the other day because of my eye injury and Walgreens is only letting in like 15 people at a time.
Dan:
Yeah.
Maureen:
So we had to wait to get in, in the rain and then get in and when he got home, I had a clothes basket by the door. I was like, "Those clothes, basket." Scrub, take the bag carefully. Yeah.
Maureen:
It's a lot. I want to talk about, I think there's ... I want to provide some happiness and also let people know that it's okay. I have not been able to write very much during all this.
Maureen:
I mean, the amount is just abysmal. It's so small. I think that as the brain settles, I can do more and more. I can see that my attention span is opening up as I'm adjusting to this.
Dan:
Yeah, yeah.
Maureen:
It's okay. If you were like, "I'm the worst." Because it's gonna look like if you go on social media that everyone else is like, "I did 29 things and I'm now a yoga master and I ..."
Maureen:
Some people will seem to be doing everything and then you might be like, "I'm a failure. I haven't managed to do ... I haven't taught my children Chinese and painted the ... An exact replica of the Mona Lisa yet. I am the only ... I am the failure of this whole thing." It's okay, if you're like, "I tried to sit down and have two consecutive thoughts, and it didn't work out."
Dan:
Yeah.
Maureen:
So that's okay.
Dan:
For real. As somebody that tends to jump on his first idea, make it and put it out in the world. I have struggled a lot with the fact that I'm seeing people putting out all kinds of fun things, useful things, anything and I'm sitting here being like, "How do I ..."
Dan:
And I finally came ... I came to some peace with it realizing like A, it's wonderful, right? People that are getting things up and going, critical things and things that are critically important because they're fun and all of that.
Dan:
It's awesome. Also, we are in a long-term thing and those people are going to burn out. Those people are going to need a rest and there is time and opportunity for those of us that needed to get our own houses in order or our own brains in order to then step up and help.
Dan:
I have in the last week, I've been doing a lot of behind the scenes helping with people because that's sort of where my brain is able to function right now is like, "Oh okay, you have a problem, I can help you figure this out."
Dan:
Versus, "Okay, here's this whole new thing that's going to help people." I'm still not there and I think that it is really important. This is unprecedented and the ... Give yourself permission to just exist and not, don't worry about the rest.
Dan:
The rest will come or maybe it won't. It's cool. If you're making it through binge watching some shows and eating cereal out of the box, that's fantastic do that.
Maureen:
Yeah, that's fine. It's genuinely fine.
Dan:
Yeah, we are all trying to figure out how to do something that has never been done before and that's ... It's really hard. It's remarkably heart.
Maureen:
And just sometimes even the words hearing how this is unprecedented, even some of the words sounds scarier than they have to be. I learned a bunch of lessons when I got sick and I couldn't really get out of my house for about a year.
Dan:
Yeah.
Maureen:
And in the beginning, I really couldn't do anything. I could barely think. I was foggy, I was confused, I was in bed a lot and my major accomplishment most days was getting out of bed, I would shower, I showered every day and getting into the living room where I would be set up with some liquid and a remote control and my phone and I would turn on the TV.
Maureen:
I would turn on the Today show just because it was on and I would turn my head in that direction and I was like, "Okay, this is when I slightly sort of look at the Today show." Then I do my meditation staring at the ceiling.
Maureen:
Then I try to move back into the other room. There was so little I could do, but then you kind of got the hang of it. Over time, I totally got the hang of that and it's ... You need kind of sea legs for this.
Maureen:
It's like we're all suddenly on a boat. You're like, "Whoa." And then you adjust. It's like when I said I went to that castle in the first two weeks, were all like, "Well, I guess we're all going to become serial killers now because we're all going to go insane and just chop each other."
Maureen:
One of the guys did request an axe, and he got an ax and every day he went out into the woods with an axe and it turns out, he had been cutting apart, a tree that had come down and clearing a path with it.
Maureen:
But he was like, "Every day I work it out by going out with an axe." Which is a scary thing to say when you're locked in a place with someone you've never met before in a castle, but ...
Dan:
But also, man I bet that feels good.
Maureen:
That was the same guy that told me [crosstalk 00:42:39]
Dan:
I bet that feels good to just chop something up.
Maureen:
Oh. He went out for a day for ... An hour every day and just chop the hell out of that tree and by the end, he had cleared the path.
Dan:
That does sound pretty good.
Maureen:
By the way, she's ... We're out of treats and she is now awake. She's awake again.
Dan:
Oh boy.
Maureen:
Just letting you know.
Dan:
Oh good. Oh perfect.
Maureen:
It's going to be fine.
Dan:
Oh.
Maureen:
She's awake Dan and I can't blame her. She's just being a dog. She's doing, she is a happiness factory.
Dan:
Yeah. As much as ...
Maureen:
She's great.
Dan:
As much as my dog is driving me nuts, I do have ... She is a dog. This is not the normal thing and she doesn't know how much of a pain in the ass it is to go outside and all of that, she just wants to go.
Dan:
It's the same as ... Not that a four year old is the same as a dog, but it is very similar and that it's like a four year old don't care. He needs to do his stuff and that's first and foremost and in some ways to me, that's actually ... He has been very helpful because it's like to him, this is kind of fun. He misses his friends in preschool, but it's like every day is a fun little party and ...
Maureen:
Hey.
Dan:
He has enjoyed that.
Maureen:
Hey. Sorry. Hold on.
Dan:
Oh, it's all right.
Maureen:
Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Hold on Dan, I really got to do this because I don't ... I can't get hurt.
Dan:
Yup.
Maureen:
Give me one second. All right, I'm doing my best here, but if she continues like this. I won't be able to finish right now because I cannot get hurt. There's just no way we can get [crosstalk 00:44:36]
Dan:
That's all right. I fully endorse the fact that we are in quarantine recording mode and if it ... The episode has to be a little bit shorter. I am sure the Sayswhovians will understand.
Maureen:
Because the situation seems both locks, but it's also fluid in good ways that you're ... You won't have a fixed feeling towards this. So you can grow into getting used to these things. You really can.
Dan:
Yeah.
Maureen:
And sometimes it's ridiculous, sometimes it's tricky. There are 100% positives to people coming together, working together, making stuff together. I've heard a lot of reports of people really getting to know their neighbors a lot better, sharing stuff more and certainly not taking anything for granted.
Maureen:
We're like, "You got a bag of flour?" Flour, yeast, bleach, toilet paper. I mean, it's, you're like, "Well, I'll take anything. This is exciting. We got a lettuce."
Dan:
Yeah. Whoa.
Maureen:
My little plants are growing. Yeah, my little plants are growing. I haven't grown anything yet. It's not edible yet, but all my little seedlings are growing.
Dan:
Well, they're growing for it. Maureen, we coined that term for our 2020 back before 2020 went fully in the shitter and it's true. Our 2020 slogan, we do got to grow for it.
Maureen:
I'm glad that our 2016 sales didn't know about this because they could not have done this, but we've had a lot of ... We're tougher now.
Dan:
Yeah.
Maureen:
We don't tell our poor 2020 sales ... poor 2016 sales about this.
Dan:
Oh God. All of us are Furiosa driving that war rig to bullet town.
Maureen:
I see you imagine and I also want to apologize for how disjointed I've been. I realized that I've done all this. It was sort of one eye closed and wrestling a dog with one arm so I was really trying to focus and it was a lot.
Maureen:
She's come in and she's brought a toy. Nope, she's come in and she's brought the cream cheese lid. All right, thank you. How did you even get that? How did you even get it? You know what? Have the cream cheese lit, it's fine.
Maureen:
Every once in a while, she got my pajamas and, or my sock and Oscar is like, "Should you let her have that?" I'm like, "Let her have the sock, it doesn't matter. Just give the dog the sock. I don't care. She can eat my sock."
Dan:
That is definitely the level that we're at.
Maureen:
Whatever you're doing, as long as you're social distancing and not like ... As long as you're not someone who's like, "It's fine. I'm going to lick my hands and shake them." Because there are people largely Republican out there doing that on purpose right now to own the lips and they will ... Sadly, they will reap what they sow with that.
Maureen:
You're not that person, you're social distancing, you're washing your hands. If you're in a healthcare profession, there's no way we could thank you enough. If you're in a cleaning profession, if you're in a grocery store profession, if you're in any kind of profession, where you're out there doing a job right now, keeping things running, there's not enough thanks for what you do.
Dan:
For real.
Maureen:
You deserve to be ...
Dan:
If you are a teacher trying to figure out how the fuck to be doing all this remote like hats off to you.
Maureen:
You deserve to be paid, you deserve to be respected, you deserve benefits, healthcare, really making sure that we value people in the work that we do I think is one of the things that's going to come out of this hopefully that we're like ...
Dan:
For real.
Maureen:
We don't we don't take any of those things for granted anymore and we make sure people get the recompense that they deserve.
Dan:
Absolutely.
Maureen:
But it's okay to be disjointed. It's okay if you're trying to record a podcast while wrestling your dog and bleaching your house and also trying to like do your actual job in whatever minutes or between that and sometimes you just can't because you've looked at some stats or something and now you have to go play Stardew Valley for half an hour just to keep your brain from exploding. That's fine. It's 100% fine.
Dan:
Yeah. And it's fine to have those moments of where you step back and are just like, "What the fuck?" That is to me having those moments where suddenly, I zoom out and it's just like, "This is fucking wild."
Dan:
Those are important, those moments of perspective. It's also okay to have fun. Every now and then when I'm doing something that I'm enjoying, I'm like, "Should I be enjoying myself right now?"
Dan:
And I'm like, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, I should." One thing that we have been doing every Friday since we've been locked down, so to be clear, it's been two, but it's already on the agenda for this one is we all get dressed up.
Dan:
We do not have a lot of dressy clothes. So we will be repeating outfits very soon, but all four of us, me and Janice and the four year old the 14 year old, we all get dressed, we get a tie on the 14 year old which has never happened until now and we cook a meal. We call it Fancy Friday.
Maureen:
Fancy Friday.
Dan:
Because we have a four year old who names things.
Maureen:
I would have called ... I also would have called it Fancy Friday. But I am basically a four year old.
Dan:
I heartily encourage creating little things like that or adopting Fancy Friday if you want to mark time. One of the things that is so wild about right now is to mark and celebrate time is how the days sort of bleed into each other and so having things that it's like, "This is what we do on Friday night."
Dan:
And we celebrate this transition from weekend or weekday to weekend when the rest of that transition doesn't really feel like much is really good and really important.
Maureen:
And make anything you want. It could be stupid, Monkey Monday. That means that every Monday, you make sure to look at a picture, learn about one monkey, do a monkey dance. Write something on a piece of paper or board or something in your house and be like, "Tuesday is Banana Day." Or whatever, it doesn't fucking matter. Do what you want.
Maureen:
This is the time to get weird. If you're like, "I want to wear a superhero cape every day." Wear a fucking superhero cape every day. Fucking do it. Live it. It's fine. You're in your fucking house.
Dan:
Anything is fine.
Maureen:
I mean, make, pick like your favorite power anthem and make yourself into a superhero that you're like, "I am turning into ..." Mine will be pretty much undoubtedly something by Queen because they are the best at power and that's fine.
Maureen:
You should 100% do that anyway, but you should 100% do that now. This is the time to get weird and live like you want to live. It's fine. It's fucking fine. It's in fact good and recommended and don't like, "Oh, I have to dress up for my Zoom meeting be everything and pieces and learn to be a yoga teacher and da-da-da."
Maureen:
No, no, put on a fucking ... Get a fucking old sheet, make yourself a fucking superhero cape be like, "I am Super Monkey Girl." And that is 100%. This is what I do my monkey dance. Do your monkey dance. Do your monkey dance. It's fine.
Maureen:
No one's keeping score. Write little notes to yourself. Cheer yourself up, make yourself a cool wall of post it notes where you're like, "Check. I did this, I did that. Look at me go. It's fucking fine."
Maureen:
The only thing I learned with stuff before anxiety and stuff is that boring stuff is awesome. We're not supposed to like boring stuff. Boring stuff is the best. It's really good for you.
Maureen:
Jigsaw puzzles are great. Watching stuff slowly is good. Oscar and I are almost daring each other to watch the most boring shows possible. There's a show from the BBC called Gardener's World and it is literally just this guy who talks to you about how to deal with your garden for each season and he's in the winter season now he's like, "Well, obviously, we're going to start clearing out this bottom and I'm planting a tree and here's me mulching." And as you watch a guy mulch and talk about mulching and I'm like, "Good. I'm into it. Let's do it."
Dan:
That sounds amazing.
Maureen:
Go down into that and remember, the boring stuff is awesome. You don't always have to be fire skiing. It's not a thing. Wear your monkey cape. Do your jigsaw puzzle. That shit is great. If you need to take a break, take a fucking break.
Maureen:
What's great about now is what if I wake up at four in the morning? I could walk at up four in the morning. Fuck, it doesn't matter. I'm not going anywhere. Do it. Put your monkey cape on.
Maureen:
I'm going to get a better one. I don't want to ... I'm not Miss Monkey Girl. I have to make up my thing. Maybe that will be my ... One of my things for this week because I'll make my superhero. Pick my superhero theme.
Dan:
Oh, I like it. I like it. That is a good project for Sayswhovia for that matter.
Maureen:
Oh yeah.
Dan:
Which is the Facebook group at /groups/sayswhovians. There are a ton of people, so many new signups of folks that are just helping each other get through all of this. So yeah, share your superhero. Share your superhero theme, post pics of your costume if you've got it, or don't, it's cool if you don't too, but there are all sorts of folks in Sayswhovia doing amazing things.
Dan:
There are folks that are working in hospitals and thank you good Lord. Thank you for that. Folks delivering food, working in grocery stores, they walk among us.
Maureen:
Heroes. Maybe you're listening to this right now at one of those jobs. Fucking heroes.
Dan:
Yeah.
Maureen:
I see your Monkey Man cape.
Dan:
For real. Yeah, and we see them in Sayswhovia and it is great. So facebook.com/group/sayswhovians yes.
Maureen:
Sorry. There's a lot of interrupting. It's that kind of time.
Dan:
It's okay.
Maureen:
Last night in New York, the Empire State Building flashed ... It flashed red and then it had a kind of spinning white thing around the antenna at the top and it was it looked like a rave, but when I looked out it was for healthcare professionals.
Maureen:
It was supposed to look like a siren, but that wasn't clearly explained and so I looked at it and I said, "Is the Empire State Building having a panic attack? Because that's what it looks like." It was very nerve-wracking.
Dan:
Oh Lord.
Maureen:
I appreciated the [crosstalk 00:56:34].
Dan:
Yeah, I saw a video of that and I was like, "I don't know this was a great idea."
Maureen:
It was, yeah. We could see it from our window and it just made me nervous. Close the curtains. I was like, "Thank you." Close quietly. Yes, it was very nerve-wracking. I think all of New York was like, "Please stop. You're making us very nervous."
Dan:
For real. On that note, Says Who is made possible by you through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho. There is bonus content for town watch and above supporters, that's $5 a month and above.
Dan:
A new bonus piece was put up this past Sunday, but there's another one coming this next weekend where we talk about video games and we're going to be trying to get that out on the regular during this quarantine period.
Dan:
So if you are not a town watch supporter, get in that level, but yeah, patreon.com/sayswho. Our theme music is performed by Ted Leo.
Maureen:
I was going to say, "Most of that bonus content was about my eye."
Dan:
Yes, this past one was all about your eye and then we talked about video games and ended up talking about your eye as well.
Maureen:
Sorry.
Dan:
But it won't be all eye content all the time. It's okay. It is okay. Our theme music is performed by Ted Leo. I saw on the social media that Ted Leo's partner was hand sewing masks and mailing them to hospitals, so Ted and your partner, you are amazing people.
Dan:
Our logo is designed by Darth ... You can contact us at Says Who Podcast on Twitter. You can email at hey, that is H-E-Y@sayswhopodcast.com. Join the discussion on Facebook. For real, it is a good time at /group/sayswhovians.
Dan:
Our Facebook group is moderated by Janice Dillard. Thank you for that work. Spread the word, subscribe. Please leave stars and reviews on Apple podcasts or wherever you listen and you can join us next Wednesday, April 8th for our next episode and there will be bonus content coming out this weekend as well for town watch supporters from my basement in Chicago. I am Dan Sinker.
Maureen:
And remember, it's going to be hard, you probably can't go grocery shopping right now. So one thing you can do is you can sign up for blueapron/lockdown/sayswho/coronavirus/hello.
Maureen:
You'll get 500 free boxes though one potato will be split up between those 500 boxes. So if you get all 500, you can assemble a potato and eat that and it's a really good time to get signed up for one of those box services.
Dan:
I'm sure your dog needs you so you should probably sign out.
Maureen:
She's trying to drink my coffee and eat my headphones.
Dan:
[crosstalk 00:59:39] just the way you're from.
Maureen:
Give me these.
Dan:
[crosstalk 00:59:42]
Maureen:
I just want to apologize for the scattered nature of this [crosstalk 00:59:49]
Dan:
It's just instead just sign out, just let it be done and then they can move on to a podcast that planned.
Maureen:
Oh please. Oh please Dan. No one's planning. Everyone's got their superhero capes on and no pants. Wave your ass proudly in the window Sayswhovia. Just stick it in the window and go, "Look at me."
Dan:
Oh, good Lord.
Maureen:
Well.
Dan:
Yeah, racy. Just go ahead and say your name. Come on. Come on.
Maureen:
My name? My name?
Dan:
Yes.
Maureen:
My name is humanity.
Dan:
Oh my God.
Maureen:
I am [crosstalk 01:00:29] people.
Dan:
That's fine.
Maureen:
You want me to ...
Dan:
Oh my Lord.
Maureen:
I miss you Dan.
Dan:
We need to finish.
Maureen:
I just want to ... I miss your beard.
Dan:
I know. It's long still.
Maureen:
Yeah.
Dan:
Who knows how long?
Maureen:
It's not like I've ever been in the same room with you recording except that one time.
Dan:
That's true. It's true. This is normal.
Maureen:
And wait, that time too, remember I had an eye injury because I was trying to find the room that you were doing the panel in and I was peeking into the cracks.
Dan:
Oh right and you got hit in the face with the door.
Maureen:
I got hit in the face with the door.
Dan:
There you go.
Maureen:
I don't, it's not ...
Dan:
There's one constant in this world that Maureen has an eye injury.
Maureen:
Look, I don't ... You realize that all these times, I just get injured. I'm just sitting there like the time that Dexi flew into my face. I love doing stuff, stuff just happens to me. I'm just sitting there and all of a sudden like, "It's not my fault."
Dan:
Yeah, I know. I get it. It's time to bring this to a close.
Maureen:
We love you Sayswhovia.
Dan:
Just say your name, say your name. I'll do it again. From my basement in Chicago, I'm Dan Sinker.
Maureen:
And from a place of love, from a place of togetherness and appreciation and bravery, I'm Maureen Johnson.
Dan:
And this has been Says Who? Go walk your dog.
Maureen:
She does need a walk. She really does.
Dan:
Yeah, go get her walked.