Don't touch your face.
Oh, don’t mind us, SaysWhovia. We’re just bleaching this podcast before you listen. It’s going to be very clean. We want you to know that our podcast is entirely safe to consume and free of viruses. Because that’s on a lot of people’s minds. Especially Dan. Dan is ready. No one is as ready as Dan. Not you, and not the government, or Mike Pence, or the CDC or anyone. Maureen has been getting on and off of planes, which makes Dan all twitchy. He wants her to stay inside, with a mask on, eating beans.
But forget all that. It was Super Tuesday. Candidates were dropping out all over the place, and Joe Biden suddenly lurched his long, hairy legs into the lead. Was Corn Pop by his side? We do not know. But someone does know a lot about Joe Biden and she has come to talk about him. She has not come alone.
Things are getting very 2020 around here. Grab a mask, SaysWhovia, and join us in the disinfectant yurt.
Dan:
episode of Says Who is brought to you by you.
Maureen:
Dan, what is going on?
Dan:
I'm just being safe, Maureen. Through your support of our Patreon at Patreon.com/sayswho-
Maureen:
I can't understand you.
Dan:
You are the ones that make this all possible for your-
Maureen:
Are you wearing a mask? Are you wearing a mask?
Dan:
Oh, yeah. Through your support of our Patreon at Patreon.com/sayswho, thank you.
Maureen:
It's Patreon.com/sayswho, no one can understand you. Why are you wearing a mask?
Dan:
I don't want to touch my face.
Maureen:
Dan, just don't touch your face. Get the mask off.
Dan:
This is easier. It's okay. I sound fine. You do your ad now.
Maureen:
I'm not wearing a mask, and I'm not touching my face.
Dan:
I mean, some of us like to live a little less dangerously than Maureen Johnson apparently.
Maureen:
Very simple system, take a thumbtack, superglue it to your all your finger pads and you will stop touching your face really quickly.
Dan:
Ah, that's pretty smart.
Maureen:
Yeah.
Dan:
Okay, do your ad.
Maureen:
Hey, everybody. Are you preparing to stay indoors for a few days/weeks/months? Why not get books? Books, a new reality, a flexible reality, something you can go in and out of and not talk to other people but you feel like you're in a whole another world with all these other people. It's perfect.
Maureen:
Books are awesome. You don't even have to go anywhere to get books. Electronic books, they come to you. They show up. And if you would like some books, why not try Truly Devious, the mystery series by me. Truly Devious, The Vanishing Stair, The Hand on the Wall. They're all out now. You can have a whole adventure. It's a mystery. It's not like a mystery. I got to stop with the like. It is a mystery. It's a mystery series. People seem to like it. Why not get it now, please?
Maureen:
Also if you leave reviews online, that is huge. As much as I don't want people buying off Amazon, those Amazon reviews are great in terms of getting ... So thank you if you're leaving reviews. It's a huge deal for authors. We love you. Thank you. Books, just books. Just make it for the books.
Dan:
Books. Best-selling author, Maureen Johnson.
Maureen:
Just take the mask off, Dan. Dan-
Dan:
Yeah.
Maureen:
The mask is unnecessary.
Dan:
Maureen, if you ... I've had probably touched my face 4,000 times in the last five minutes, so it is deeply necessary, but it's okay. This is what everyone's going to sound like soon.
Maureen:
Dan, just do what the CDC says, wash your hands, get a few essentials in, not like anything excessive but getting some basic shelf stable stuff. So that way, if you get sick, you don't have to go out. You got some soup. You got some stuff you can eat. Stuff like that. Get, like I did the other day, some water storage jugs and a light straw and 50 pounds of dog food, even if you don't have a dog, get 50 pounds of dog food, it's never going to hurt.
Maureen:
And obviously-
Dan:
And don't touch your face.
Maureen:
And don't be ... Duct tape the windows.
Dan:
I'm good on the face touching. I got it figured out. I have a whole big hood over my whole face. It's a little hot in here but I'm not touching my face.
Maureen:
Practical things, Dan. Booby-trap your door.
Dan:
Can't see anything, but I got no viruses on my face. It's so hot in here. It's very humid too.
Dan:
(music)
Dan:
Welcome to Says Who, the podcast that isn't a podcast.
Maureen:
It's a coping strategy. I'm Maureen Johnson.
Dan:
And I am Dan Sinker, I immediately just touched my face. Just touched my nose right there.
Maureen:
Dan, just hold a hamster in each hand.
Dan:
I think that hamsters are probably a real breeding ground for disease, Maureen.
Maureen:
No. Hamsters?
Dan:
Sure.
Maureen:
All right, a rat.
Dan:
There you go.
Maureen:
A pigeon.
Dan:
A rat in the hand means no virus on the face.
Maureen:
I don't think rats get coronavirus.
Dan:
That's true. Really, when has a rat ever spread any disease?
Maureen:
You don't want them in your face though. Their little sharp fangs, oh, tough. Please, they will reap your flesh.
Dan:
Oh, god, I am at least extremely conscious of how much I touched my face now. It doesn't mean I'm not, but every time I do it, I get to feel a little bad about myself. So it's good. I just think we've got a little feedback loop going right now.
Maureen:
You like to craft, right?
Dan:
I do.
Maureen:
Maybe you can set up a thing. Can you make a thing that every time you touch your face, you get a small electric shock?
Dan:
You know what? I actually thought about this.
Maureen:
Oh, my god.
Dan:
I thought about this the other day because you can create a circuit with your human body and I was trying to figure out, is there a way of having a little electrical current in my hand that when I touch my face, it would go off? But your whole body is a circuit. There's no good way to isolate just the face part. It would go off every time.
Dan:
But I did see somebody online today who built a little computer vision project where if his hand reaches his face, his computer says, "No."
Maureen:
Just no?
Dan:
Yeah, just goes, "No."
Maureen:
No.
Dan:
I need that. I mean, literally, as I was talking about that, I was itching my eyebrow.
Maureen:
No.
Dan:
Why did they make the face so itchy, Maureen?
Maureen:
No, because you have a beard.
Dan:
No, but my eyebrow isn't my beard.
Maureen:
I don't know. I don't know how beards work. I don't have a beard.
Dan:
Well, it's not your eyebrow, I'll tell you that much. You have an eyebrow.
Maureen:
Yeah.
Dan:
So it's not a beard, same feel.
Maureen:
[inaudible 00:06:55].
Dan:
I just did it again. My nose, I just did it again. I cannot do it. Literally, I can't not touch my face, Maureen.
Maureen:
Dan. It's going to be fine.
Dan:
I just did it again. Okay, let's just move on. I did it again.
Maureen:
I'm just shaking my head, Dan. I'm just shaking my head.
Dan:
Dead. I'm dead. Dead man walking over here.
Maureen:
Are there any cases in Chicago yet?
Dan:
Yeah. In fact, because I have that stupid kind of Chicago pride that most Chicagoans have. I'm like, oh, yeah, Maureen. We have the first one.
Maureen:
Oh, congratulations.
Dan:
Yeah, thanks. Yeah, we got the first one. She got better. She and her husband, they got better. We also had the first two that got better, so there you go. But I believe there are two or three now here in the greater Chicago region. I think they are concentrated in Arlington Heights, Illinois actually, which is just outside the city. But yeah, first, first, first.
Maureen:
My predictions about when it would be pop up in New York have been pretty good so far just because it's New York and I turned to Oscar and I was like, "Well, it will be here soon." He's like, "How do you know?" I'm like, "Because we're New York. We're a giant subway station with a lot of good restaurants in it. Like we're 8 million people sitting on top of each other coming from every corner of the globe constantly. We literally live in close ..." I mean I can't get outside unless I get in a tiny box with my neighbors.
Dan:
It's kind of remarkable that New York City is not just simply a virus fountain all the time.
Maureen:
I think we probably have pretty good immunity because of-
Dan:
True.
Maureen:
I mean also puppies, this place is just like, would you like to find out more about giardia? Come to New York with your puppy, like they get it constantly because it's everywhere. And a lot of my neighbors work in hospitals and definitely some of the hospital where some of the quarantined patients will go if they have to be hospitalized.
Maureen:
Although I think the quarantined patients right now are up in Columbia Presbyterian, the one guy. So I think we've got three now.
Dan:
Yeah.
Maureen:
So. It's-
Dan:
I mean we will talk about this a little bit more fully, but I think that this is fairly clear that if you have three, you have a lot more than three.
Maureen:
Oh, yeah, that was like, of course, there's going to be more because people already have it.
Dan:
Yeah, [crosstalk 00:10:06] we're not actually testing for it. So there's that.
Maureen:
We're not actually testing or people are just low grade sick. We have reached the point where a couple, at least one neighbor has been the maybe I have the coronavirus stage.
Dan:
Oh, perfect. We have reached the point where our neighborhood next door is posting, "Homemade hand sanitizer recipes."
Maureen:
That's not a bad thing. I mean that's good. Look, washing your hands is good. As a small child, I was taught scrubbing procedure by my nurse mom and now, it's really paying off.
Dan:
I just touched my face again. Maureen Johnson, I would like to start this episode now that I'm done touching my face, I just did it again. With a bit of a mea culpa, I think that's the word. I don't know Latin. I was certain of two things this election cycle, Maureen Johnson, and that was there was no way in hell Joe Biden was going to become the nominee and that Bernie Sander was going to fade out quickly.
Dan:
I am no longer predicting the future, Maureen. I'm done with that. I'm out of that biz.
Maureen:
Interesting. Well then, yeah, we learned some things. It was Super Tuesday yesterday, Dan. Wasn't it super?
Dan:
It was a Tuesday although today I woke up and I thought it was Tuesday. So I am apparently in some sort of a Super Tuesday loop. It's Wednesday. We're recording this on a Wednesday. You're hearing this on a Thursday. Super Tuesday is long in the past.
Maureen:
And many more things will have happened by the ... This will be well out of date by the time you hear it tomorrow.
Dan:
Well, I think there are no more votes. And there aren't. I just touched my face again. Maureen Johnson, Super Tuesday, let's talk about Super Tuesday. Things changed up dramatically just before Tuesday with the South Carolina vote on Saturday going heavily, heavily, heavily toward Biden.
Dan:
And both Mayor Pete and Amy Klobuchar dropping out shortly after. And then Monday night showing up in Texas at a Biden rally to endorse him. Beto took him out to a Whataburger. They didn't skate in the parking lot though.
Maureen:
I was going to say, "Where's the skateboard?" We're going to see Joe Biden on a skateboard before this is over.
Dan:
Oh, no.
Maureen:
We are.
Dan:
He's like made out of glass at this point. He's like a China doll of Joe Biden. They're not putting that on a skateboard.
Maureen:
Okay. I was not a Mayor Pete supporter, but I watched his speech where ... Did you see this speech?
Dan:
I did not see the speech.
Maureen:
Dan, it was a good fucking speech and he was introduced by his husband in an incredibly emotional ... Again, it was kind of amazing. He and his husband were up there, and it was ... I'm really glad he's not in the race. I'm glad that we got to see that. I mean he's a very good ... He is, as everyone says, somehow he is a 70-year-old Republican in the body of an incredibly good-looking 38-year-old gay man.
Maureen:
He and his husband, it was good. They talked about each other and finding each other and it was some good stuff. Like those guys, they love each other. It's pretty beautiful. So I liked that, Dan. I liked it a lot. Amy Klobuchar, now that her task of punching Mayor Pete in his beautiful, beautiful face was ...
Dan:
He's got to find a new calling now.
Maureen:
For she's like, "I don't have to kick that guy in the shins anymore." And I have a feeling, Dan, that now that Elizabeth Warren dropped on ... After she dropped on Bloomberg from the ceiling like a spider and he ran away, she may longer ... It's going to happen ... We're going to record it's going to happen, like I'm just waiting for it. I'm just waiting for it to happen.
Dan:
Yeah. I'm not going to ... It is very disappointing like [inaudible 00:15:27] deep level but yeah, she doesn't have a path forward.
Maureen:
No. And I assumed that she's finalizing the plans of her endorsement. So I don't know.
Dan:
Yeah, she's not moving forward without a plan.
Maureen:
Well, she's already got a plan. It's just a question of saying, "Hit the green buttons," and then her staff immediately lifts the covers off the green buttons and hits them at the same time. It's one of those things we have to turn the key while you're looking at the other person. I saw that in Stranger Things. And yeah, Dan, do you think it's going to be Bernie that she endorses?
Dan:
Dude, I'm out of that game, Maureen. Anything I say the opposite is going to happen. So sure.
Maureen:
I would assume she's going to endorse Bernie. I still think Bernie is going to be ... My prediction is still that Bernie is going to be a candidate. Why is everyone so surprised about South Carolina? Everyone knew that was ... Everybody was like, "Well, he's going to win South Carolina." It was always known and then he won in South Carolina. It was like, "Can you believe it?" Everyone was like, "Yes." Everyone has been saying it all ... Everybody, everyone.
Dan:
I mean I think that, to me, the reason that South Carolina was a wake-up call was two-fold. One, it seemed like Biden was all but dead but then he put up a stronger number than anyone was expecting in South Carolina. And that was largely propelled by being the first state that actually Black people live in and they voted. And they voted overwhelming for him and underwhelmingly for everyone else. Pete, I think got 2% overall of the Black vote, which is pitiful.
Dan:
And so like that does matter. And then last night, largely things broke exactly the way they were polling? Biden won the states that he was expected to win. Bernie won most of the states that he was expected to win, but Biden did win three that had largely been polling toward Bernie. He won Minnesota. He won Texas and he won Massachusets which is not only was Bernie polling up on but was before his home state.
Dan:
So he over-performed on Tuesday night.
Amy Carter's Shoe:
Yeah, he did. He always over-performs. That's right, it's me.
Dan:
Amy Carter's Shoe.
Amy Carter's Shoe:
Hi there.
Dan:
You had a good night?
Amy Carter's Shoe:
I had a good night. It was a good night for me and a good night for my man. I knew it. I knew he had it in him.
Dan:
You did. You were unwavering in your support of Joe Biden.
Amy Carter's Shoe:
I'll always be there for my man. I've joined the campaign.
Dan:
Have you?
Amy Carter's Shoe:
Yes. I've joined the campaign. I'm a staffer now.
Dan:
Oh, no.
Amy Carter's Shoe:
I wrote him a song.
Dan:
Oh, good. Oh, no.
Amy Carter's Shoe:
Official campaign song.
Dan:
Okay, let's hear it.
Amy Carter's Shoe:
Are you ready?
Dan:
Not really.
Amy Carter's Shoe:
I'm just going to clear my throat. Here we go.
Amy Carter's Shoe:
(singing)
Dan:
God, Amy Carter's Shoe-
Amy Carter's Shoe:
That's right.
Dan:
I have a question for you though. I've been actually thinking about it. I figured you would make an appearance today.
Amy Carter's Shoe:
Oh, yeah, I'm here. I was ready for it then.
Dan:
So we went from the most diverse democratic primary that we have ever seen to two old men running against another old man as an aficionado of old balls, how do you even make a choice?
Amy Carter's Shoe:
Oh, between the two old men with the balls? It's a good question, Dan. So luckily I ... Well, I do have some information on that front.
Dan:
Oh, no. I forget everything I've just done. I've touched my face.
Amy Carter's Shoe:
I'm not happy about this, Dan. But I need you to meet my sister.
Dan:
Oh, no.
The Other Shoe:
Hi, it's me.
Dan:
Oh, god. Oh, no what is happening.
The Other Shoe:
I'm Amy Carter's Other Shoe.
Dan:
Oh, god.
The Other Shoe:
Hello.
Dan:
Oh, no.
The Other Shoe:
It's me.
Dan:
Hi.
The Other Shoe:
I'm The Other Shoe.
Dan:
Uh-huh.
The Other Shoe:
They fucking left me in the West Wing.
Dan:
Okay.
The Other Shoe:
Vote for Bernie.
Dan:
Oh, no, why? Oh, no.
The Other Shoe:
Are you kidding me? Man alive, that whole crotch area smells like moth balls. .
Dan:
Oh, god. Oh, no.
The Other Shoe:
That whole [inaudible 00:21:38] is like a haunted attic.
Amy Carter's Shoe:
Don't listen to her.
Dan:
Oh, god. Oh, no. This is insanity.
Amy Carter's Shoe:
My man, there's cobwebs and stuff in there that I blow away. Oh, the musk coming off the man.
Dan:
Oh, no.
The Other Shoe:
Don't listen to her. It's Bernie. Bernie's balls are much lower.
Dan:
I could just leave. Oh, god.
The Other Shoe:
Talk about the 1%. I tell you what, I don't even know what means, it doesn't matter. His balls are the 1%.
Dan:
Oh, god.
The Other Shoe:
Imagine you took a bottle-
Dan:
I just took my glasses off to fully touch my eyes. Oh, my god.
The Other Shoe:
What's the name of that cologne that you can buy? It's a men's cologne, the Old Spice? Now, imagine that was just old balls.
Dan:
Jesus Christ.
The Other Shoe:
Splash that.
Amy Carter's Shoe:
Don't listen to her.
Dan:
Oh, God. Oh, no. Jesus Christ.
Amy Carter's Shoe:
My man, Joe's balls are a lot lower.
Dan:
Somebody help me, god.
Amy Carter's Shoe:
(singing)
Dan:
Oh, god.
The Other Shoe:
(singing)
Dan:
Oh, god.
Amy Carter's Shoe:
Dan? Dan? Do you have coronavirus?
Dan:
Probably. I just touched my face the whole time.
Amy Carter's Shoe:
Dan, this is going to be one of those things where sister is my sister. You know what I mean?
Dan:
Sorry for your family that have some ... This fissure.
The Other Shoe:
Fissure? I'll talk to you about fissures?
Dan:
Damn it. I thought that was a word that wouldn't do anything.
The Other Shoe:
Oh, fissures. You're talking what's about what's around the corner, my man.
Dan:
Oh, god. Damn it.
Amy Carter's Shoe:
My man, you don't even want to get me started on that. The whole apparatus is like one of those paddle ball thing where the balls are elastic, you whip, whip, whip, whip.
Dan:
Oh, god. Help, help, help. Oh, god.
Amy Carter's Shoe:
(singing)
The Other Shoe:
(singing)
Amy Carter's Shoe:
(singing)
The Other Shoe:
(singing)
Dan:
Oh, my word.
The Other Shoe:
Well, goodbye.
Dan:
Oh, god.
Maureen:
Well, they went away. You hate to see families fighting.
Dan:
I can't.
Maureen:
You hate to see family ... I don't want to see families driven apart by this.
Dan:
Oh, my god, I can't breathe. I am-
Maureen:
It's a stark choice. Well, you've got two shoes fighting each other over whether whose balls are stankier and danglier. American 2020, I tell you.
Dan:
I can't.
Maureen:
It's tough. It's tough time.
Dan:
Oh, my word.
Maureen:
That song is catchy. (singing)
Dan:
Stop it, damn it. All the hell.
Maureen:
It's a good song.
Dan:
Oh, my word. You're still in? You still think that Bernie is geared there, huh?
Maureen:
I don't know. I felt it all along. I was just like, I feel like that ... I mean I'm probably going to be wrong but I'm just saying, that's where I put my chips down a while ago. I mean it's not ... I'm a Warren supporter who's like I don't even want to say anything anymore because it's just the whole mood is so "ugh".
Maureen:
But in a lighter note, Dan, I got a call from a family member yesterday who told me that the other unnamed family member had gone out. Now, unnamed family member causes a lot of trouble. The unnamed family member is the cause of much hair of mine falling out, Dan, and the unnamed family member turned up in a Trump ... Holding a Trump banner because a Trump store opened outside of Philadelphia.
Maureen:
So they went over there and they bought some stuff. And the other unnamed relative was like ... And he said to the other relative, "Ah, do you want me to get you anything?" And the other relative said, "Yes, so I could take it out back and burn it." And then proceeded to read the first relative the riot act.
Maureen:
So I got so mad.
Dan:
Things are going good.
Maureen:
Dan, I get ... For some reason, this one really eats at me and I kind of go rage blind for a while and I can't think straight for a couple of hours. Even when I start thinking about it again, I feel like that ... What it hits some center of the brain that makes me not be able to clearly. It's like I go into berserker mode.
Dan:
That seems entirely reasonable.
Maureen:
But it's not great because unnamed relative does stuff constantly and then just it upsets me because I'm like, I don't know ... I feel like I should be able to do something and I can't. And just saying something to ... I've tried all different things and it only makes it worse. So I did finally one sensible thing yesterday, Dan. I was really angry and I was like, "Forget it."
Maureen:
And I went outside and I went across over to the gym and I ran.
Dan:
There you go.
Maureen:
I made a choice, Dan.
Dan:
I think that's good. I bet that-
Maureen:
I chose like I'm going to ... If you give me this energy, I'm going to do something with it until it changes chemical form.
Dan:
That's super smart and I think that's a thing not necessarily exercising but that's a thing that I think everyone needs to have at the ready right now, is what is the thing that I can channel this into? We have talked for quite a while now, probably coming up on six months of Says Who You, a recommendation that people take just 15 minutes a day even to work on a hobby, put away a screen to put on a hobby or work on themselves or do something that is not checking the news and all of that. And I think that that's as important now as it has ever been.
Maureen:
And I want ... I obviously stuff that's action like try to do other things although we all got to do more I guess. But every once in a while, it's so visceral that you have to kind of just smash things together a little bit. Yeah, because sometimes you just got to ... It's just that kind of kinetic energy. You just have to disperse a little bit of it. It's just there's too much static.
Dan:
Yeah. So you had a good run.
Maureen:
I'm not a good runner, Dan, so running is not really my thing at all.
Dan:
Well, not a good running like you have amazing form but you just let it out?
Maureen:
But that's the thing is I don't run. So when I ran, because I don't really do it, it really was like, "Whoa, this is duh." My body was so shocked by it, like I do other stuff but running, it's never ... I kind of genuinely shocked my body. I was like, "I'm going to make you do this thing you don't normally do. This is not your activity, but it's going to be right now."
Maureen:
And then my body was so confused by the input of running as the activity that it seemed to short-circuit a little bit of the other stuff.
Dan:
That's good.
Maureen:
So when in doubt, throw yourself a curve ball maybe is the tip. Like on square dance, I'm going to dance right now. And your body is like, "What?" Then you kind of were like, "Okay, I'm so confused by what's happening." I'm a terrible runner, always have been.
Dan:
I'm also not a good runner.
Maureen:
And boy, oh, boy. I mean I do lots of other stuff and I walk miles and miles each day but running has always been like, yikes. But maybe by the end of this, I'll be some sort of like ...
Dan:
I mean so my wife, Janice, also the moderator of the Says Whovia boards on Facebook, the group on Facebook. She has transformed herself into a runner over the last year, I would say, almost a year to the day. She started not even being able to go five minutes running, and now, she is training for a half marathon now and just this weekend because it's finally getting nice occasionally again in the Chicago area. She ran 8.1 miles.
Maureen:
Wow.
Dan:
So it's possible but it's also possible with any, just little tiny steps toward larger goals but just really kind of taking the fast and the furious philosophy, Maureen, of a quarter mile at a time.
Maureen:
Quarter mile at a time. You don't ever do quarter mile of a time. I'm so bad ... I was doing the thing where you run 30, fast walk 30, run ... I was working up like that because I can't do straight through.
Dan:
I didn't mean the quarter mile literally. I meant it as a metaphor.
Maureen:
I was watching that little thing go. I was like run, run, run, run, run (singing). And also it has that screen that where you're doing an imaginary run.
Dan:
Oh, I like those, like through a national park or whatever. Yeah, I like those.
Maureen:
I would have thought it is impossible for me. I think it's impossible for me to be a runner. That's where I am right now. I think it's impossible. So maybe what we'll find out is by ... Let's see if I do this again, because I didn't die from it. So who knows? I mean I think to do a mile, it was an embarrassing amount of time, 75 minutes.
Dan:
You did a mile though.
Maureen:
Yeah, but I mean it took 14 minutes.
Dan:
It's okay.
Maureen:
I mean that's basically as fast as ... It's literally as fast I walk it. That's me walking at a fast pace just around because one of the places I need to go to regularly is a mile. So I know I'm like 15 minutes there and back. So I guess I'm constantly walking fast everywhere, I just don't run. So that's pretty not great, right? I don't know.
Dan:
In my head right now, I'm starting to form the idea of November goals.
Maureen:
That's what I'm trying, yeah, like I don't know actually how long it takes to run a mile. Is it nine minutes, eight minutes, something like that?
Dan:
And eight-minute mile is fairly fast.
Maureen:
Is that fast?
Dan:
Yeah.
Maureen:
10 minutes?
Dan:
Yeah. I mean I think you can set whatever goal you want for yourself.
Maureen:
So a 5K is how many miles? Three and a ...
Dan:
3.1.
Maureen:
Okay.
Dan:
I think a 5K is 3.1, and a 10K is 6.2.
Maureen:
Okay. And what's like an average, like you did a 5K?
Dan:
So I don't now because again, I am not a runner. But I can say that Janice, when she got to the point where she was running longer, she did do sort of a self-timed 5K. And this was back like five months or so in and it was I think 10 and a half or 11 minutes.
Maureen:
Wait, she did a 5K in 10 minutes?
Dan:
No, by the mile. You measure it by the mile.
Maureen:
It's like that doesn't seem physically possible then.
Dan:
No, no, no, no, no. Yes, she became incredibly fast.
Maureen:
[crosstalk 00:34:59] both.
Dan:
The thing that has been interesting watching her is that there has just been sort of steady, even kind of growth at it. So she was running a 10-1/2 or 11-minute mile in August. By November, I think that was more the like high nines. And now, she's been running in the low nines and it's just like it's just chipping away and chipping away and chipping away. And it's been remarkable to watch, and it's not always linear as with anything you do. There are times that you backslide and all of that but she has stuck with it in an amazing way and has really done remarkably well.
Maureen:
That's amazing.
Dan:
And I will add in the Says Whovia group on Facebook, there are few other people that she has kind of been communicating with that have been starting to run or getting back to running after illnesses and things like that. And it's wonderful to watch and there is a little group of people that seemed to be supporting each other there running-wise.
Maureen:
I'm not sure it's right for me but maybe I'm just going to keep tapping at it and see how it feels because-
Dan:
I think that you can set your own pace and set your own measures for what improvement looks like and all of that. But I like this idea of setting personal goals for November that you can work through during this whole what will be a very stressful time, having an additional thing in the measure. I'm going to think about that. I'm going to think about that, Maureen.
Maureen:
Man.
Dan:
I'm going to think about that while I'm holed up at home not touching my face.
Maureen:
Are you touching your face right now?
Dan:
I was, yes, I was. Pretty much if I ever mention not touching my face, it's because I had just touched my face. Not good at it, not good at that, Maureen. It turns out I'm really bad at not touching my face.
Maureen:
Yeah, I mean, okay, are we going to talk about this coronavirus thing?
Dan:
I think probably we should. I think that the time where we already had plenty of mental drag on our own brains, there is now a whole other one that is there and it is the coronavirus.
Maureen:
The unnamed relative has also been getting his coronavirus updates from his weird news network and Trump. So he was saying things like the democrats caused it and there are no cases in the UK.
Dan:
Oh, good.
Maureen:
Apparently, the UK cases, I believe, jumped. The number yesterday was reported at 51 and the number reported today is 85. So it jumped 34 cases in a day.
Dan:
I mean so there are two things at play when we see these numbers jump. One is it is a very transmissible virus. So there are in fact new infections. The other is we're testing people, and so we see the numbers go up because we're actually testing people. It's not that those folks that got tested literally got it in that 24-hour period. It's that they actually got tested.
Dan:
And I think that's one of the things that right now in the US, we're not doing a great job at testing people versus, say, South Korea which is testing like 10,000 people a day or something. So their numbers are taking up like clockwork, but that's because they're actually learning who has it and who doesn't. We're not doing that learning so much here right now.
Maureen:
Right.
Dan:
I think that that's like ... I know that it is going to come is a real shock, Maureen, but it turns out that this administration's gross incompetence at everything is also applicable to managing the coronavirus.
Maureen:
Well then. Two leaders are doing a great job. There's one. There's Boris Johnson yesterday who went on and made a whole speech about the coronavirus and said he visited all these people with coronavirus in the hospital and shook everyone's hand. And two, someone who touched Mike Pence has now been quarantined which to be fair is what happens when anyone touches Mike Pence.
Dan:
So technically, I don't think the person that's quarantined actually touched Mike Pence.
Maureen:
Well, I'm personally happy for that person because I don't want to hear that anybody had to touch Mike Pence.
Dan:
Mike Pence on Friday visited a military academy in Sarasota, Florida. And then over the weekend, a case of coronavirus has been identified there and a mother of one of the kids was found to have been in contact with the person. So both the mother and the kid have been quarantined. Now that kid, it's a little bit unknown whether or not that kid was there when Pence was there, but that kid has been around the kids that were there with Pence. So, yeah, and he was shaking hands and all that.
Maureen:
What are they doing with all these presidential candidates who are out on the road, meeting tons of people and they're all over 75 years old?
Dan:
Yeah, it seems that part, Maureen, it's not great.
Maureen:
Yeah, it seems really bad.
Dan:
Don't seem great.
Maureen:
The only one that's going to be fine is Trump who's never touched anyone's hands ever.
Dan:
Right. Turns out his wacky germaphobia is going to be his real boon for this dude.
Maureen:
It turns out not touching anybody sitting around in the East Wing shit posting all day is probably going to be a good survival strategy and it makes me angry.
Dan:
He does like rallies though. And I can't imagine him curtailing those.
Maureen:
Yeah, but nobody goes near him. He just stands in the middle.
Dan:
That's true. Maureen Johnson, have you been preparing? You do have a nurse mother.
Maureen:
I do.
Dan:
You ordered some masks. What else have you been doing?
Maureen:
I ordered some masks because nurse mom who is, her field of specialty as a nurse practitioner, one of the thing in her old job is that she was a respirator mask specialist who used to order them and train on their proper use. And she insisted that I get some N95 even though the CDC does not recommend doing so. And she said, "Listen, you live in New York. You're in crowded spaces with other people all the time. And it's not a guarantee but some barrier is better than no barrier at all." And she is the kind of person that literally just has N95s in the house.
Maureen:
We ordered some ... I got some shelf stable groceries in. Got some spaghetti, some broth. I went to Trader Joe's which was apparently going to Trader Joe's at a heavy shopping hour on pandemic eve appeals to my sense of adventure because it was something in there. I just kind of liked it. I was like I was always that kid. I've said this before that my favorite scene in the zombie movies is the one where you have run to the supermarket and grab as much stuff as you can in 15 minutes.
Maureen:
I love that. I was like, "Finally, I get to live it. Yes," except mine is more you run and you grab this stuff before this. This was more just milling around a crowd because everyone is like, there's no tomato sauce left. And there's no hand sanitizer left in New York City. I found some bleach because there had been no bleach.
Dan:
I also had been stocking up, Maureen. We are the parents of a four-year-old, so we already have a lot of hand sanitizer in the house.
Maureen:
Why?
Dan:
Because four-year-olds are gross.
Maureen:
What?
Dan:
I know. He calls it handy sani, which is cute. It's very cute but, yeah, last week ... I know a couple of people in Tokyo, so when Japan went on lockdown, watching their Instagram feed of the things that they suddenly could not get, I was like, "I'm going to get those things now." So I went and cleared out a couple of CVS' worth of hand sanitizer last week. So we have lots of hand sanitizer.
Maureen:
I saw that last week and I kind of was like, "What's he doing?" And now I'm like, "What?"
Dan:
Come over. We got enough for you. We got enough for you and Oscar too. Come on over. And now I've been stockpiling toilet paper because the folks in Tokyo were like, "We don't have any toilet paper." So we're good on that and slowly chipping away at dry goods and things like that. The thing that I have said, because I'm usually not a big prepper, but I do like ... Knowing people and seeing them kind of be like, "Yep, okay, we are on lockdown now," brings a little bit more perspective for me and I'm like, "You know what? I need to be a little more prepared." And so yes, so we are. We're getting there, but I cannot stop touching my face.
Dan:
Also, I got a cleaner for my phone, Maureen. It's like a little coffin that you put your phone in and blasts it with UV light for 10 minutes.
Maureen:
I have one of those.
Dan:
It's amazing.
Maureen:
My mother got it for me for Christmas.
Dan:
She's smart.
Maureen:
I basically grew up surrounded by safety supplies.
Dan:
You're ready. This is your time.
Maureen:
I worked at my mother's school like as a job as a part-time job when I was in high school and college, I was a school secretary in college. That was my summer job. I was a full-time school secretary. So I've done the inventories of masks. I have done ... I have always lived in a house with gloves and masks and wash stations. Doesn't everybody do this? I mean you have that?
Maureen:
Yeah, I mean I will admit that I ordered stuff that I've meant to order for a while because I have a prep bag of things like tarp and space blankets and duct tape and things like that because honestly, I have lived through times that those things have been needed.
Dan:
Yeah. You have lived through Hurricane Sandy in Manhattan.
Maureen:
I've lived through 9/11 as well.
Dan:
Oh, god, right, that. Also that.
Maureen:
I mean it was a bunch of stuff where you had to be prepared for all kinds of weird eventualities or possibilities. But during Sandy, we lost water, power, heat and based on somewhere I live, the water ... Things can go wrong with the water. So I ordered a bunch of these water bricks and you fill them up and you seal them and it creates safe water. I think they're good for six months, then you refill, like you rinse them out and refill them.
Dan:
Where do you fit a bunch of water bricks in the Manhattan apartment?
Maureen:
I had to think about that for a while and then I realized it's behind the very chair I'm sitting in because it's angled at a corner. So there's a big old triangle of empty space behind it. And also, I'll just rearrange closets. They're pretty flat and they stack on top of each other, so I'll just stack them. And I figured it out, but I got four of those, so it's like ... I think they each old three or four gallons of water.
Dan:
So it's a few days?
Maureen:
No, like 16 gallons of water. Maybe I should get more.
Dan:
That's not a lot for two people. It's more than nothing.
Maureen:
I mean it's more than nothing. Do you think I should get more water bricks?
Dan:
Well, I have been ... Honestly, the water one has perplexed me a little bit because this is not a hurricane or a tornado or something. I feel like we have been very much prepared to weather storms and like I don't know what would affect water with coronavirus. I'm not sure.
Maureen:
Nothing. It's just that while I was prepping, I was like, "I should really do the one thing that everyone's like, have water in."
Dan:
Yeah, because I've been unable to figure out why I need to do that and I haven't found anything that tells me other than just tells me to have water.
Maureen:
Yeah, I mean because I have literally been in situations where the water was an issue. So I was like, you might as well while you're doing it, get the water bricks. Fill them up and stash them. Maybe get a couple more because I've bought all the things like the tarp and the whistle. One time in school, our teacher assigned ... I think this was sixth grade. Our teacher, I don't remember what class it was in, possibly social studies, not sure. But the plan was that you use, because this was before the internet, circulars and catalogs. And you were given an imaginary budget and you had to imagine that you had to completely set up like a self-survival like a camp thing, like you had to have enough stuff to live like food and things to cook with.
Maureen:
And you would cut things out like according to their price and then right next to it, how much you were buying of each. And you had to work out this budget of what you would do in an emergent, not even emergency. Imagine that you have to go live in the woods and you have to buy all these stuff. Dan, this was my goddamn favorite assignment. I had never in my life been so excited about. I love school, but this was next level excitement for me.
Maureen:
I remember this was like ... Dan, I was so psyched about this. No one has ever been as psyched about homework as I was about this. I was like my ship has come in, and I poured over those catalogs, comparing prices of tents and camping stoves, matches. I was clipping stuff out of circulars. I'm like, "The meat is on sale, let's stock up." And I filled the notebook, taped them in, wrote the prices. Dan, it was like a dream come true for me. And so anyways, that little glow has ... What if I just start, I could live it. I can fill my house with tarp.
Dan:
It's your time.
Maureen:
My time has come.
Dan:
It's your time.
Maureen:
So, also, luckily, I work from home. So I'm like, "Listen, everybody, come to me for tips."
Dan:
I often am like, I work from home. I work remote and yeah, that part I've got down.
Maureen:
It is a skillset though, like you have to, because you can drift. So maybe when everyone is on lockdown, I'll offer some online Twitter classes and be like, "Okay, I'll be your coach, talk you through for the next hour."
Dan:
You're a coach.
Maureen:
We're coach. Internet life, we're coach. Dan, I was so excited about this.
Dan:
I'm very happy for you.
Maureen:
I could remember sitting on my aunt's floor just pouring over grocery store circulars.
Dan:
Maureen Johnson-
Maureen:
I was a terrible Girl Scout, I could never even remember the number of the troop I was in. But I used to read the Girl Scout handbook back to front. I would drag it into bed with me and read it. I read it until my copy fell apart, the pages fell out. And they used to give you a like a plastic book carrier to carry it in. So I had this plastic sleeve with handles and my copy fell apart and my parents got me another copy because the first part, I ravaged it.
Dan:
You're ready.
Maureen:
I would read about how to make like a little stove out of a tuna fish can.
Dan:
This is it. This is your time, Maureen Johnson.
Maureen:
Dan, I'm not going to lie. Last night, I said these actual words and I fulfilled them, Dan. I said, "It's finally time to order those dried beans from that company I like."
Dan:
How many dried beans? I think I have five pounds of dried beans. That's not enough, is it?
Maureen:
That's a lot of dried beans.
Dan:
I mean, it seems like a lot of dried beans.
Maureen:
That's a lot of dried beans.
Dan:
I actually have a storage container showing up for them.
Maureen:
What kind of beans?
Dan:
Just black beans.
Maureen:
See, I ordered ... Well, I'm vegetarian. I eat a lot of dried beans and there is this one company that has ... It's in California, and it's a farm. It's a ranch named Grow Amazing Beans. They're the best beans. They're not that much more than other beans but the quality is very good and they cook very well. So I don't buy meat, so occasionally, I splash out on a nice bag of beans and they're not like-
Dan:
Bling, bling.
Maureen:
Yeah, they're like $6. But you get a lot of meals out of that bag. Saying they also cook really well, so sometimes with beans that are old, they don't cook well and they're harder to eat. But if these are all fresh, they're dried but they're fresher and so you can use more because they're better and they hold up really well.
Maureen:
Anyway, I ordered beans, Dan. I ordered some beans of my dreams. I was like, "You know what? Finally, I'm getting those good chickpeas. And I'm going to stash them in. And every once in a while, if we get stuck, I'm going to put those motherfuckers in the pressure cooker and we're going to have some delicious bean soup."
Dan:
There you go. There you go.
Maureen:
Bean soup is great. I really like bean soup.
Dan:
Says Whovians-
Maureen:
Living it.
Dan:
This episode of Says Who is made possible by you through your support of our Patreon at Patreon.com/sayswho, supporting at every level-
Maureen:
Little stove out of a bean can ...
Dan:
Our theme music is performed by Ted Leo-
Maureen:
He needs beans.
Dan:
Oh, yeah, Ted Leo is a big bean guy, big bean guy there. Our logo was designed by Darth who in the nick of time has returned from their hibernation.
Maureen:
Yeah, Darth has come out of the red panda cave.
Dan:
We are so happy to see Darth.
Maureen:
Happy to see Darth. Love you, Darth.
Dan:
You can contact us, @sayswhopodcast, on Twitter. You can email and hey@sayswhopodcast.com. Join the discussion on Facebook at /group/sayswhovians. Our Facebook group is moderated by Janice Dillard.
Dan:
You can spread the word, subscribe and leave stars and reviews on Apple podcast or wherever you listen, and you can join us next Wednesday, March 11th, for our next episode. Or Maureen Johnson, if people are feeling like venturing out in the world, where can they find you in Texas this weekend?
Maureen:
I will be at the North Texas Teen Book Festival, which is in the Irving Convention Center, Dallas, Fort Worth area, Irving, Texas, I don't know. I don't have it in front of me. I need it in front of me. It's okay, but just look up North Texas Teen Book Festival.
Dan:
The internet is in front of you, listener.
Maureen:
They have put advice up about don't touch the authors. They're going to be no shaking hands, no ...
Dan:
Don't throw peanuts at the authors.
Maureen:
Don't throw peanuts at the authors, no personalized pics and things like that and there's going to be just giant buckets of hand sanitizer. You can dip your hands in. Just dip your hands in there.
Dan:
Oh, hello.
Maureen:
Keep your eyes in there.
Dan:
Hello.
Maureen:
Oh, wait, I just noticed a little news article that popped up. The outbreak around Seattle was only found by because enterprising researchers found a way to get around the CDC.
Dan:
Yeah, it turns out that we're not doing anything. So, what a shock. We're in it for ourselves right now. Everyone is going to look out for each other.
Maureen:
Yeah, we're in it for each other.
Dan:
That's what I mean.
Maureen:
No, Dan, not for ourselves, for each other.
Dan:
I mean ourselves, and that the government does not-
Maureen:
Dan.
Dan:
Come on, Maureen. I said "each other".
Maureen:
Each other.
Maureen:
(singing)
Dan:
From my basement in Chicago, I'm Dan Sinker.
Maureen:
(singing)
Maureen:
I'm Maureen Johnson. And by the way, Dan, why you're stocking up? If you can't get to the store, why not sign up for blue apron\cdc\coronavirus/don't go outside. It's never been a better time to sign up to the service that will literally deliver food to you in an impersonal box and just punch it to your door. They just throw it from a moving van. It rolls up to your door and you'll find individual grains of salt just prepackaged in a single potato. And you can sit alone in the dark with a mask on your face, staring into the depths of a single potato, like Matt Damon in that movie about Mars. And you will get a hundred recipes for nothing.
Dan:
And this has been Says Who?
Amy Carter's Shoe:
(singing)